Hughes admits error
During his five-year tenure at Princeton, head football coach Roger Hughes has consistently maintained that his team's mediocrity was due to lack of execution on the part of the players, not shoddy playcalling by the coaching staff.
In a shotgun news conference yesterday, Hughes finally admitted that he doesn't know what he's doing on offense. In addition, Hughes sobbingly acknowledged that an unblocked wide receiver screen is not a good play to run 10 times a game.
Sargeant denies accusation
Despite nationally televised evidence to the contrary, freshman men's basketball guard Matt Sargeant maintains that he can, in fact, dunk a basketball.
Sargeant embarrasingly rim-checked a dunk attempt at Duke last Wednesday, but, he said, "I dunk in practice all the time."
He also mentioned that, "My mom thinks I'm cool."
Stool ball finals
The Stool Ball Championship Finals will be held Sunday night at 11:45 in the Sports office of The Daily Princetonian.
The competition will feature former IM basketball champions Team Gold and the 'Prince' All-Star Team.
"It's a 'Baseketball' kind of story," 18th year senior Spencer Gloger said.
Bonds admits steroid use
After refusing to comment to national media outlets for months, Barry Bonds told the 'Prince' in an exclusive interview yesterday that he has used steroids for years.
Shocker. This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's 2005 Joke Issue.
