NBA's West still the best

So we have a new president . . . or we have the same president. I don't really know; I didn't want to wait around to find out before I turned this in. No one cares about this column, I guess, but I write sports, not politics, and the NBA started last night.

Yesterday I gave my thoughts on the Eastern Conference. Today, it's the Mighty West. Here's how I rank the teams on the good side of the Mississippi (plus Memphis).

15. Seattle Supersonics

Coach: Nate McMillan

Starters: Vitaly Potapenko, Rashard Lewis, Danny Fortson, Antonio Daniels, Ray Allen

Outlook: What's Detlef Schrempf up to these days? Have fun, Ray.

Prediction: 23-59, 5th Northwest. 14. Golden State Warriors

Coach: Mike Montgomery

Starters: Adonal Foyle, Mike Dunleavy, Jr., Troy Murphy, Derek Fisher, Jason Richardson

Outlook: When the Warriors play the Bobcats (Nov. 13 and Dec. 12), people might confuse it for an NBDL game — and not just because the uniforms look like they were colored in by a pastel-happy ADD child.

Prediction: 25-57, 5th Pacific. 13. New Orleans Hornets

Coach: Byron Scott

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Starters: Jamaal Magloire, Rodney Rogers, P.J. Brown, Baron Davis, David Wesley

Outlook: Welcome to the West, bitches. Jamal Mashburn's career is only as strong as his cardboard knee, and Davis wants out, leaving Magloire as the sole sure thing on this squad which landed in the toughest division in basketball.

Prediction: 28-54, 5th Southwest. 12. Los Angeles Clippers

Coach: Mike Dunleavy

Starters: Chris Kaman, Corey Maggette, Elton Brand, Marko Jaric, Kerry Kittles and Bits

Outlook: Owner Donald Sterling does know that winning the NBA lottery is not the same as winning the state lottery, right? Tyson Chandler, Darius Miles, Lamar Odom, Maurice Taylor, Lorenzen Wright, and Quentin Richardson all recently drafted by the Clippers but no longer on the Clippers. The average Clipper apparently has exactly 63 games to prove himself.

Prediction: 32-50, 4th Pacific. 11. Portland Trail Blazers

Coach: Maurice Cheeks

Starters: Theo Ratliff, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Zach Randolph, Damon Stoudamire, Derek Anderson

Outlook: The Blazers just made their best player (Randolph) happy by driving dump trucks full of $100 bills up to his house; they brought in Ratliff to anchor the defense, and they drafted a promising young guard (Sebastian Telfair) to groom as a replacement for the aging Stoudamire.

But there are issues. Abdur-Rahim and Randolph play the same position and don't much care for that whole defense thing. Darius Miles still hasn't come around. At the very least, Oregonians have a more citizenly team to cheer for.

Prediction: 39-43, 4th Northwest. 10. Phoenix Suns

Coach: Mike D'Antoni

Starters: Jake Voskuhl, Shawn Marion, Amare Stoudemire, Steve Nash, Quentin Richardson

Outlook: A team I hate to leave out of the playoff picture. Voskuhl as a starting center is laughable (you should be laughing), but the rest of that lineup should be solid.

The bench, though, is suspect. Joe Johnson adds punch to an already loaded forward line, but then we start talking about guys like Casey Jacobsen, Zarko Cabarkapa, and 5'9'' Yuta "Tabase, I say" Tabuse — the first Japanese player in the NBA, pictured here. Looks like a threat, doesn't he?

Prediction: 41-41, 3rd Pacific. 9. Memphis Grizzlies

Coach: Father Time

Starters: Lorenzen Wright, James Posey, Pau Gasol, Jason Williams, Mike Miller

Outlook: E'rybody hatin' on the Grizz because the rest of the low-end playoff teams last year made improvements and all they did was sign a player who is balding.

I still think they're a playoff team, but someone has to get left out in this conference. When it comes down to it, I see Utah grinding out the wins they need in late March and April to get in ahead of Memphis.

Prediction: 42-40, 4th Southwest. 8. Utah Jazz

Coach: Jerry Sloan

Starters: Mehmet Okur, Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer, Carlos Arroyo, Gordan Giricek

Outlook: Okur is another guy who had one good year and was rewarded with a ridiculous contract. Still, he's an upgrade over Greg Ostertag, and adding Boozer to the front line should ensure that the toughest team in the NBA last year will be tougher.

Prediction: 43-39, 3rd Northwest. 7. Los Angeles Lakers

Coach: Rudy Tomjanovich

Starters: Vlade Divac, Lamar Odom, Brian Grant, Chucky Atkins, Kobe Bryant

Outlook: You can't trade a guy like Shaq without getting something in return. Lost in the "Shaq's in Miami!" craze was that the Heat sold its soul to get him there. Odom, Grant and Butler were half the reason for that team's resurgence last year. Now with the Lakers, they'll be asked to do the same type of thing — give the star player the ball and play off him.

Divac and Grant in the front court is a concern. Both are aging and will get eaten alive by the giant front lines of the West powers. This team is one major move away from contention.

Prediction: 45-37, 2nd Pacific. 6. Denver Nuggets

Coach: Jeff Bzdelik

Starters: Marcus Camby, Carmelo Anthony, Kenyon Martin, Andre Miller, Voshon Lenard

Outlook: The wild card team. I don't know here. The Nuggets were feisty enough in the playoffs last season to worry me against the Wolves, and now they've added Martin.

In honor of the election, I will call this the swing team. They could be the four seed or the eight, so I'll put them at six. The polls are open.

Prediction: 46-36, 2nd Northwest. 5. Sacramento Kings

Coach: Rick Adelman

Starters: Peja Stojakovic, Chris Webber, Brad Miller, Mike Bibby, Doug Christie

Outlook: This is a team with a lot of makeup on. They look great on the outside, but underneath they're as ugly as last month's meat loaf. Peja wants a trade, and Webber thinks that teammates like it when he criticizes their play to the media.

The window is shut.

Prediction: 50-32, 1st Pacific. 4. Dallas Mavericks

Coach: Don Nelson

Starters: Erick Dampier, Michael Finley, Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Terry, Marquis Daniels

Outlook: I don't think this team is done yet. Bringing in Dampier was huge, assuming he actually shows up now that he's got his contract after playing hard for one year. If so, he gives Dallas toughness inside, something they've never had. Throw in the scoring of Dirk and Finley, the all-around play of Daniels, and guys like Jerry Stackhouse and Josh Howard coming off the bench and this team can still compete.

Prediction: 51-31, 3rd Southwest. 3. Houston Rockets

Coach: Jeff Van Gundy

Starters: Yao Ming, Jim Jackson, Juwan Howard, Charlie Ward, Tracy McGrady

Outlook: After Shaq, McGrady to Houston was the biggest news of the offseason. They may be thin, and they may have no stud point guard, but they have the best one-two punch with T-Mac and Yao.

Hmm . . . sounds an awful lot like another team I know that won three straight titles a couple years back.

Does T-Mac's shoulder vein creep anyone else out?

Prediction: 54-28, 2nd Southwest. 2. Minnesota Timberwolves

Coach: Flip Saunders

Starters: Kevin Garnett, Wally Szczerbiak, Michael Olowokandi, Latrell Sprewell, Sam Cassell

Outlook: I've flip-flopped on this team about 10 times in the last 24 hours. First, I loved them, then I hated them, then I kind of loved them, then Sprewell decided that a three-year $30 million extension offer was "insulting," then reminded us he has a "family to feed." What the hell are you feeding them, Spree? I want to eat at your house. You must have monkey butlers and champagne from World War II Germany. What a jerk. Add his jersey to my list of "Things to Ritualistically Burn."

Cassell wants a contract, too. Wally wants his respect back, Hudson wants playing time, and it all means that the T-Wolves are likely to stumble at times. Still, if everyone holds hands, it's the deepest team in the league. We may be feeding Saunders through a tube at the end of all this, or we may be celebrating an NBA title. It's that ridiculous.

Prediction: 55-27, 1st Northwest. 1. San Antonio Spurs

Coach: Gregg Popovich

Starters: Rasho Nesterovic, Bruce Bowen, Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Ginobili

Outlook: Here by default, only because the T-Wolves are a therapist's nightmare. If Minnesota comes together, they'll toast the Spurs.

But San Antonio doesn't have those ifs. As everything stands right now, they have to be the favorite. Duncan and Popovich will have them busting their butts from the opening tip. The Wolves might not patch together until December.

With Brent Barry, Malik Rose and Robert Horry coming off the bench, a proven system, and the best defense in the league, I have to pick them, as dirty as I feel right now.

Prediction: 59-23, 1st Southwest.