To be honest, I don't think I knew who won Thursday's debate until the media told me this weekend. The problem with being a columnist is that you're expected to have an opinion, regardless of whether or not you know what's going on. The second problem which subsequently emerges stems from my belief in freedom of speech: Here in this great democratic republic, everyone is entitled to my opinion.
These problems were slightly mitigated when I found out that I am to be a Tuesday columnist, not the Monday guy (and thank God — the concept of being published opposite the prolific prose genius of John V. Fleming would have driven me to quote Adam Smith instead of Kevin). As a result, I would have the entire weekend to have my opinion developed for me by the national media. I would have time to let Fox News fulfill their half of their "We Report, You Decide" service to society. I would get to read Professor Krugman's bereaved lamentations, William Safire's snooty analysis of grammar and diction, and maybe even a few brand-new historical documents from Dan Rather.
By Saturday morning, the coaches' polls and the sports writers' analyses had all moved Kerry to the top of the USA conference rankings. A few hundred people let the New York Times into their living room to allow edgy leftist reporters join their family on the couch for the Must See Reality TV event of the week, and most concluded that Kerry was the victor. An army of intellectuals dispatched from New York to Allentown, Penn., sniffed dismissively at passing pickup trucks before helping the good people of the Lehigh valley figure out which way was left so they could lean. And a collection of previously unseen footage from the debate coverage showed Bush looking like he wanted to go smoke out some evildoers to let off steam before he exploded like Mt. St. Helens at his opponent.
The funny thing was, I hadn't really been able to pick out a clear winner of the debate, so like most people in the room where I had been watching, I decided that my guy must've been the winner. Sure, he stumbled over a few phrases, but man, he nailed some major enunciations. (Aleksander Kwasniewski of Poland! Can you pronounce that?) The occasional long pauses that Bush took to think were encouraging signs that he was capable of such cerebral exercise, despite getting his degree from a second-rate school. And, on the whole, he seemed to have a good resounding message: How is Kerry going to lure new allies in the war on terror into Iraq if it purportedly has nothing to do with the war on terror?
It wasn't until the press unanimously declared Kerry the victor that I knew who I was supposed to think won the debate. If only I had been appointed a Monday morning columnist, I would've been able to report and decide for everyone. That being said, perhaps it's not too late to offer my opinion, which, by virtue of being an opinion, has to be just as valid as everyone else's: I'm calling this one for Dubs. Maybe a few other pundits will, too, and then we can help the American people understand what they really think. Besides, didn't you see that Kerry was cheating? If Drudge says so, it must be true!
If I'm right — or at least correct — then if I could just publish my opinion the morning after the debate, I'd be a part of shaping the polls. I'm sure this power of mine would be amplified by my large national audience that reads this column in fifty newspapers and ten languages thanks to my syndication rep at Clear Channel. On the other hand, if I'm wrong, and the media really are calling this one correctly (after all, Kerry was extremely put together and didn't allow his nuances to go over 120 seconds at any point), then perhaps I'll lay down my arms and just go back to satire and writing about drinking. In the meanwhile, I encourage all of you undecided voters out there to stay glued to the impending volcano eruptions and ignore the polls, death tolls, pundits and anything else that might help you make an educated decision. As far as I'm concerned, though, W stands for Win. Powell Fraser is a politics major from Atlanta, Ga. He can be reached at pfraser@princeton.edu.
Read More
The CPUC must not gut its Judicial Committee
Bill HewittEnding the Judicial Committee’s jurisdiction over initial complaints would embolden abuses of power, allowing the administration to evade accountability for University rule violations without the pressure of student and faculty authority.
Ending the Judicial Committee’s jurisdiction over initial complaints would embolden abuses of power, allowing the administration to evade accountability for University rule violations without the pressure of student and faculty authority.
Princeton, let’s adopt a digital prox
Jorge ReyesTo prevent pointless replacement and lockout charges, maximize convenience, and create better access to meals and facilities, Princeton should follow the precedent set by some of its peers and adopt a digital prox system.
To prevent pointless replacement and lockout charges, maximize convenience, and create better access to meals and facilities, Princeton should follow the precedent set by some of its peers and adopt a digital prox system.
What is a Princeton degree really for?
Joel IbabaoSo what, in the end, is a Princeton degree really for? I take a more moderate view: Students should prioritize earning potential — unless they feel irresistibly called to something else.
So what, in the end, is a Princeton degree really for? I take a more moderate view: Students should prioritize earning potential — unless they feel irresistibly called to something else.