Suitors sized up: Talent, charm and good cologne

This week, I asked my girlfriends what they want in a guy. Responses ranged from the predictable, "confidence," to the slightly less predictable, "cologne."

"Colette," a senior, has lots of requirements for potential suitors. She said she likes "a little bit of edge and a guy who really wants to talk with you, not just chat, then wait around for the next opportunity to talk." Surprisingly, "well-dressed, confident men" are most likely to catch her attention. But formality is the name of the game. Colette prefers "guys who take it slow — I don't like the aggressive 'I wanna take you home right now' thing. Courting rocks my world."

Another senior, "Amanda" likes men who have "the confidence to be secure in themselves when they're with a girl...there's nothing I hate more than a guy who's threatened by his [girlfriend's talent or personality] . . . ew."

"Jane" "melts" for "guys who compliment in a very specific way, "like picking up on a detail that you thought they wouldn't notice." (Appropriate adjectives include "pretty.") "I also think good manners are such a plus," Jane commented.

Charm, however, must be backed up by ability and brains. "Talent . . . God, talent really does it for me," said Colette. She goes for athletic boys ("You know I love downhill ski racers and runners . . . good abs are key!" But she swoons for more romantic talents as well. "Piano players who whisper Billy Joel songs to you or a guy who could write an essay that was so powerful it would persuade you that it's a good idea to do something ridiculous like kill all the brunettes in the world so the world would be a more colorful place, for instance," my mahogany-tressed friend joked. "And I like well-read men . . . that's important," Colette added.

Both Colette and Amanda prefer boys with a sense of rhythm. "Oh, and of course, he has to be a great dancer . . . hip motion!" exclaimed Colette. Amanda agreed that it's "very attractive when they randomly know how to dance, like ballroom dancing." (See my column on "Dancing," in the 'Prince' online archives!)

Jane is easier to please. "A guy who can sport pastels and still feel comfortable with his masculinity is quite attractive," she remarked. She's impressed by "pink polos." Pink looks good on everyone (except redheads) and has been favored by girls since their childhood . . . you can't go wrong.

Wear "good cologne" Jane advised. "Not too much, but just enough that the girl can remember it because memory and scent are closely tied!" A certain perfume can evoke fond memories of your fourth grade teacher, but despite Jane's encouragement, beware of scents. Cologne can, ahem, reek of the dreaded trying too hard. Some people, including myself, would argue that sticking to the frequent application of soap, water and deodorant to your person are not only sufficient, but also preferable. (If your inner 15-year-old yearns for it anyway, Ralph Lauren Sport is a reliable choice.)

(A side note, while we're on the cleanliness topic: Sadly, some college men are guilty of habits that not only disgust girls, but also offend all notions of hygiene and decorum. To be avoided at all costs: peeing in public, particularly in trashcans in taprooms; leaving food cartons around your room; mice; roaches; never washing your bed sheets. Ew! Ew! Ew! This is really gross and based on various revelations from sheepish male friends over the last three years, plenty of perfectly nice boys do it. The top bunk is NOT an excuse. Clean untucked sheets are the way to go.)

"Daphne," an Alabama senior, simply adores "shaggy Southern boy hair." Not yet Wall Street-ready, shaggy hair suggests laid back cool and a fun-loving personality that is happiest playing lacrosse or flipping hamburgers at a tailgate. Also on the grooming front, Lucy condemned facial hair. "Scruff is gross, and manicured shrub-type growths are the worst. Boo goatees." Alas, Lucy admitted, "I like pretty boys. I'm still stuck in the third grade." Girls agree that if a guy does go scruffy (or lazy), à la Brad Pitt, he should not make out with anybody when he's had just one day's growth. Ouch.

Amanda likes guys' sexy "backs and how strong they are." She thinks it's cute "when they smile, 'cause guys are funnier than girls." Lucy added, "I like a sense of humor most of all." She stipulated that her love interest must be "a good cuddler . . . I'd rather not have to teach him." Practice makes perfect . . .

So let's recap . . . the ideal Renaissance guy is polite, confident and amusing, a dancer-athlete-musician-reader-writer-and old-fashioned romantic, clean-shaven with shaggy hair and wearing a pink polo shirt. Sounds like Princeton men have a chance after all. In my next "Kiss & Tell" column: What guys want in a girl . . .