Pleasure-seeking Princetonians visit CAKE party in NYC

Each of the eight Princeton girls who boarded dinky trains last Thursday night weren't quite sure what to expect — the pictures on CAKE's website hinted strip show, S&M and mass orgy.

Yet when they arrived at New York's Gershwin Hotel, an ornate, Gaudian affair located next to the city's Museum of Sex, they discovered a voyeuristic group of guests. They ranged from college girls to women with several plastic surgeries under their belts, all eager to watch but hesitant to partake in the pleasure-seeking feminism catering to female sexuality.

The hired dancers were mesmerizing — in the hotel lobby-turned-club, a girl with a pot belly gyrated on top of a wooden pedestal with a shrimpy guy sporting spandex. A 6'4" man in drag pivoted to display his exposed plastic vagina, while two girls in Goth sucked face. Behind them, the streaming video projected on the back wall gradually changed from unmemorable elevator programming to '80s porn.

After a few free drinks, a Princeton senior dressed true to tiger tradition in a plaid skirt and a sophomore hoping to conceal her identity in a coy red wig replaced the paid dancers atop one of the wooden platforms.

Yet for the most part, the clientele was surprisingly tame — most lounged on the chairs and sofas, wondering who their neighbors were, what they were doing there and when the clothes would come off (hardly any did, at least not before any Princeton students, chained to the N.J. transit schedule, had to leave).

The Warhol-inspired, art-meets-life décor was the latest theme in a series of monthly parties hosted by CAKE, which has been entertaining and educating women about female pleasure since the summer of 2000.

The company's founders, Melinda Gallagher and Emily Kramer, began to develop the ideas that would become CAKE while Gallagher pursued her masters in human sexuality and public health at NYU and Kramer sought a B.A. in Women's Studies with a focus on sexuality from Columbia.

"There wasn't really any sort of information or entertainment forum that addressed feminine sexuality in the way that we addressed it with each other, which was a very open, very nonjudgmental and very pleasure-seeking way," Kramer said.

The group has attracted 31,000 subscribers to their website and 15,000 members in both New York and London with the help of co-founder Matthew Kramer.

The group provides both educational events — such as the Pleasure Workshop hosted at Princeton by OWL on Feb. 9 — and larger parties, designed to provide an environment where women feel comfortable expressing their sexual desires.

Their attempts to create a friendly, welcoming atmosphere were immediately apparent last Thursday, where the female bouncer welcomed any female with $10 and offered friendly apologies for the length of the coat line.

Men, though they made up half the crowd, were only admitted if invited by an official CAKE member — for which women have to write an essay on why they "get the juice," and pay a $100 annual fee.

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Princeton senior Courtney Hogan-Jones enjoyed her newfound power as she stood in line to get in, while guys begged her for an invite.

"It feels so empowering," Hogan-Jones said. "The mentality of the whole organization is supposed to give you the feeling that I can define sex by my terms, and you can't come into my club if I don't want you to."

While promises were made on the dinky among one group of girls to stay close and join forces as wall flowers against the potentially threatening sexuality, many found themselves much more comfortable there than they sometimes do at the Street.

"Because the majority of the people there are women, it makes me feel a little freer and more empowered," said Jessica Brondo '04, who organized the Pleasure Workshop. "When I go out in Princeton sometimes, me and some of my friends kind of get the impression that there's not necessarily harassment, but that people tend to overstep boundaries."

At CAKE, it was easy to disappear or become the center of attention, and nobody minded which you chose.

Unlike at other clubs, Anastasia Frank '06 noted, "There was no sort of antagonism. The ambiance was incredible, the décor was amazing, the drinks were fantastic, and despite the fact that there were transsexuals walking around with enlarged exaggerated plastic vaginas on their bodies, they managed to maintain a sense of normalcy and comfort."

That level of comfort with sexuality is precisely CAKE's goal. Those who may have never talked about sex in their lives leave willing to ask questions and seek answers.

"Women — and their female friends and their partners — leave and feel very comfortable about discussing anything that was at the event," Kramer said. "The purpose is not about those four hours. It's about what those four hours represent in those people's eyes."

For senior Hogan-Jones, the event was an opportunity to further explore the open, honest environment Kramer introduced her to during Princeton's Pleasure Workshop, when Kramer had dumped a bag full of vibrators into the middle of the 80 girls in attendance, and encouraged straightforward questions and curiosity.

"I feel Princeton is a little tentative to deal with things like [sex]," Hogan-Jones said of the event, "but I was talking with people I'd never met before about whether they masturbate or not."

Questions ranged from "What is an orgasm?" to those more complex. Some hoped the event could become an annual tradition on campus, though last year's more widely publicized event (canceled due to snow), prompted some students to plan a protest.

Despite opposition, and the media Kramer says often misrepresents sex and the companies that cater to pleasure, CAKE plans to continue to expand its business. Recently, CAKE has produced "The Pleasure Club," a pilot for a new series for Showtime, and has a contract with Simon and Schuster publishing company for a book on female sexuality and empowerment.

"While women are talking to each other in small close circles of friends, even on a campus college there's no open forum," Kramer said. "One person's question is another person's answer, but women haven't been able to connect like that."