Recently, junior track runner Michael Baird sat down with 'Prince' senior writer Penn Stabler.
Prince: Hey, so what's up?
Baird: Greetings, I'm great. How the deuce are you?
P: I'm doing well. Are you excited about being interviewed?
B: I'm so excited, I can't believe my mind!
P: Well, that's great. So you run three seasons, indoor and outdoor track and cross-country. What events do you run for the track team? Do you have a favorite season or event?
B: During the fall I run cross country, Then I run the mile/3000m indoors, and outdoors. I ran the mile last weekend kind of just for the hell of it. I ran the 3000m at Heps.
P: Just for the hell of it? What did you run?
B: 4:10.
P: Wow, so that's pretty decent, right?
B: Yeah, but I'm focusing primarily on the 3000m steeplechase with plans for some quality 1500m and 6900m races. The steeplechase is probably my favorite event. With four barriers and one water jump each lap, it requires a lot of strength and technique.
P: How satisfied are you with the indoor season?

B: This past season was so phat that it was morbidly obese. Winning the team championship at Heps was radical. Last season, my individual running blossomed like Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, but hopefully I won't have to wait 2 more years to reap the benefits.
P: I see. Any predictions for outdoor?
B: This outdoor season is going to be a little more competitive. Last year we were upset by Penn, but we should be favorites again this year. We have a really strong middle distance corp, and outdoor focuses more on long and short distances. The primary goal for the season is to score big points at Heps, and a secondary goal is to take a serious stab at an NCAA qualifier. I'm really looking forward to it, I think my improvements in other events will translate well.
P: Good luck with that. So how did you get involved with running? Did you run in high school?
B: Well, I remember running around the block with my brother and dog when I was young. That was one fast [dog]. A few years later, my dog was dead and my brother was running for the high school team, so I followed him. After that, I was hooked on running like a midget on crack. I remember my mom wanted me to be a sprinter, because my brother always looked like he was about to die after each race. My dad wanted me to get a paper route.
P: Did you have any records or anything in high school? Every athlete at Princton seems to have a few.
B: Our distance medley relay was top six in the nation one year, I think, and I had one of the top ten 3000m times my senior year at Penn Relays.
P: What do you like most about running? What makes it better than, say, basketball or any other sport?
B: What I really enjoy is our team's comaradery, shared vision, and mutual dedication to improvement. Track and field is the purest, most fundamental form of athletic competition.
P: Interesting. So what's your favorite color?
B: Green rules! If green was in a fight with any other color, I'm pretty sure it would claim victory!
P: Green certainly is a good pick. Alright, I can't really think of anything else to ask, so why don't we play that word association game they always have in celebrity interviews. I say a word, you say the first thing that comes into your head, alright?
B: Sure.
P: Ok then, here we go: Princeton.
B: Does a body good.
P: N'sync.
B: Word on the street is that Britney broke up with Justin. One time this girl said I looked like one of the Backstreet Boys . . . Backstreet Baird is back!
P: Midterms.
B: I'd rather kick myself in the face.
P: Zaboomafoo.
B: Talking lemurs. The most provocative show on television. (11am, PBS)
P: Interviews.
B: They're magically delicious.