Vitale hails possible Pitino hiring, calls coach 'DYNAMITE,' proceeds to digress, baby!

The news of former Boston Celtics coach Rick Pitino's preliminary discussions with Director of Athletics Gary Walters '67 completed an extraordinary two weeks at ESPN. It started when two of the network's most prominent college basketball personalities, Andy Katz and Dick Vitale, filed conflicting reports regarding Pitino's involvement with UNLV. Pitino's apparent decision to join Princeton has shown ESPN's reporting to have been even more inaccurate than the network had originally feared. ESPN will, however, preempt its daily broadcast of Pittsburgh Penguins hockey to air Pitino's first public appearance in Princeton today. Few top ESPN officials were willing to comment about Pitino, but Vitale did — granting The Daily Princetonian an exclusive interview for the second time in less than four years.

"Hey, it's just like I said when that weird guy from your News department called me at my house back in 1998," Vitale shrieked. "Tell them I said, 'PACK THE HOUSE, BABY!' "

When asked if he believed that this latest episode shows he should stick to pandering to coaches, athletic directors and players less than half his age during broadcasts — instead of actually attempting to report news — Vitale appeared not to hear the question.

"Let me tell you, baby," he said. "Rick Pitino is gonna be DYNAMITE! I mean he's super-scintillating-sensational — a brilliant tactitian.

"You know I remember when he first burst onto the scene," Vitale continued. "It was in the 1987 Elite Eight when his Providence team upset Georgetown. And hey, how about the job Craig Esherick is doing with those Hoyas this year! They're still undefeated, baby! And another key player on that Providence team from '87, Billy Donovan. He's been amazing down in Florida. They love him down there!"

Vitale's soliloquy continued for several minutes, during which he discussed the Southeastern Conference regular season title race, former Auburn star Chris Porter, the unfortunate NCAA sanctions levied against players like St. John's Erick Barkley last year, the Big East regular season title race, the attractiveness of Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim's wife and other topics less relevant to the Pitino-Princeton saga.