Late lunch to be discontinued to encourage students to attend classes*| Jan 12, 2017
Campus Dining has announced that it will stop offering late lunches effective Jan. 12.
This major decision comes after an investigation by the Committee on Efficient Time Management uncovered a “rampant, disturbing practice of students’ playing hooky to get a late lunch,” according to the committee's report.
The committee, composed of University faculty and students, launched the investigation after professors of classes that spanned across the 2:00 p.m. to 3:45 p.m. late lunch period started reporting a drop in attendance last November.
The committee's report recommends discontinuing late lunches on the grounds that they were promoting a “culture of truancy.”
“As a result of our undercover operations, we found that, during a two-week period, over 97 percent of students who purchased a late lunch from the Frist Campus Center had skipped class in order to do so,” said Guy Generalman, the head of the committee.
Student reactions to the announcement have been a mixture of anger and disbelief.
“How am I supposed to work out without my two daily bottles of Powerade from Frist? So who cares if I skip class for late meal? Everyone else does it. I need my Powerade,” Iam Swollington ’20 said.
“I can’t believe they’ve done this,” John McStunned ’19 said.
A protest by a new student group called 'Bring Back the Late Lunch' is set to take place on Saturday, Jan. 14.
*This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the internet!*