The undocumented migration of students from Forbes College to campus has become a highly prevalent topic in this year’s Undergraduate Student Government elections.

Around 60 percent of the students housed in Forbes have abandoned their rooms there and brought sleeping bags to the sidewalk of University Place. Moses Discontented ’18, who had been elected to speak for the migrants, said that while the Forbesians have requested University housing on the campus several times already, their requests have been denied or ignored and the administration has frequently threatened them with forced repatriation back to Forbes.

“If the Israelites could survive in the desert for 40 years,” he said, “then we can sustain ourselves here a while longer, too.”

Students said that they vacated Forbes because they felt that it was not worth the long walk to their classes and to the Street. They added that they were tired of seeing frat boys coming over to Forbes to smoke weed undetected and of seeing drunk 65-year-old alumni passed out in their doorways during Reunions.

However, administrators and other students have said that they think the refugees from Forbes should not be admitted to more central locations. Manager of Undergraduate Housing Angela Hodgeman said that the University has no intention of granting other housing to the dispossessed Forbes students, and Brian Hatfield ’17 said that the Forbes refugees do not belong on the main University campus.

“They’re stealing our dining hall food, they’re stealing the alcohol from our pregames,” he said. “Someone needs to ship them back to Forbes.”

The Forbes immigration issue has also divided USG candidates. USG presidential candidate and Butlerite Zeno Fobic ’17 said that if elected, he will build a wall along Alexander Street to keep the “riffraff” out.

“Forbes is sending us all these students that have all these problems, and the problems are going with them,” he said. “Some are probably good people, but they’re bringing clouds of reefer with them, and they’re bringing stalkers and voyeurs.”

Teddy Caldwell ’17, a former Forbesian, said that while he understands the plight of Forbesians, he was able to move from Forbes to the main campus legally and thinks that the Forbesians camped on University Place should wait their turn like everyone else.

However, Wilsonite Damon Kennedy ’17 said that he would welcome the assimilation of the Forbesians into the campus, and that as a Forbesian at heart, he is uniquely able to listen to their concerns. He noted that he does all his work and eats all his meals in Forbes, has been dating a girl from Forbes since freshman year and he even baptized himself in the chocolate fondue fountain at Forbes Sunday brunch.

“Moving to the main campus is really an act of love,” he said.

*This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the internet!*

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