As usual, fall break ended too soon. It’s strange because midterms certainly felt like the end of your classes, or at least a suitable stopping point, like the end of the last non-Netflix produced season of "Arrested Development," since you knew that it couldn’t get any better from there.
It's 3:28 p.m. You plunge headfirst into the absurdly long late meal line, inadvertently hip-checking John Nash and whacking that cute guy you've secretly been posting about on Tiger Admirers for the past month with your backpack. After gathering yourself and apologizing to the frightened freshmen who witnessed the entire scene, you begin to eagerly anticipate the moment when you can comfortably sprawl on your common room floor, late meal goodies spread all around you, about to indulge yourself while crying about being single.
Having survived the Great Midterm War (GMW), having battled lab reports, problem sets, essays and exams, and coming away with only minor injuries (consisting mostly of wounded pride, cramped hands and paper cuts), I was ready to return home in glorious triumph to my family.
On the Princeton website, the housing department proudly announces that every room, no matter how big or how small, must be furnished with “one bed and mattress requiring extra-long sheets," for Princeton must accommodate the extra-long people, "one dresser, one desk and one chair for each person in the room.” You may note that Housing does not specify the type of chair you’re going to get.
1) TRENDING NOW: Meningitis 2) NO LONGER TRENDING: Gastro 3) Add/Drop Period Closes, Lecture Becomes Very Lonely Place 4) Dinky Awning Collapses— University replies: “You’re next, WaWa.” 5) Return of Pumpkin Spice Latte; lactose-intolerants move underground 6) President Eisgruber competes with iOS 7 update for “Installation of the Week”
It’s no secret that it’s impossible to get motivated at the start of a semester. What with seeing all your friends again for the first time in months, avoiding sobriety during Frosh Week and pretending day-drinking is acceptable at Lawnparties, it’s almost as if the University planned to make you forget the reason you actually came to Princeton: to attend classes.
1) “Hey, have you heared about the Harvard cheating scandal?”