After 200+ internship rejections, student to spend summer researching how to land internship
The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
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The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
With this year’s college admissions cycle coming to a close, Princeton has made the unprecedented decision not to release statistics on admissions rates for both the early and regular decision rounds. Last fall, the 145th Editorial Board claimed that withholding data discourages students from applying to Princeton.
Students are returning to a changed campus as the infectious omicron variant sends case levels to new heights. Princeton has responded to the changing circumstances by limiting social gatherings, changing dining to grab-and-go, and constraining student events. At the same time, the University has shortened the isolation period and ended its policy of contact tracing all confirmed positive cases, focusing in on only those groups at highest risk. Administrators have also stressed that they remain committed to offering in-person classes.
Sorry, Witherspoon, you need to go
Last Friday, the University announced that the endowment has ballooned to $37.7 billion, an almost 50 percent rate of return. This growth is a significant outlier from previous years which made us in the Opinion section wonder how might Princeton react. Will we see improvements on campus? Can Princeton afford to be more ethical in its investments? Should tuition be abolished?