- Your cat
- Hopes and dreams
- Any expectations
- A snake
- Pleasure reading
- A desire for moist chicken
- A keychain for your room key
- Your ego
- Your Eggos
- Melatonin
- Your SAT scores – or AP, IB, ACT
- Your microwave (or panini press)
- Coins for the laundry machines
- Eye drops
- A distaste for the color orange
- The pre-read book
- A printer
- High school apparel
- A boomerang, or other utterly impractical items from your home country
- A weak liver
- T-shirts (you’ll get enough for free)
- Daddy’s trust fund money
- Dignity
- Most species of bedbugs
- Boat shoes (why would you want to fit in, anyways?)
- Canada Goose jacket
- An aversion to ice cream (it’s everywhere)
- Boba tea (it’s everywhere)
- A watch (you’ll never have enough time anyway)
- Sunglasses (like T-shirts, you’ll get a bunch of them for free)
- A framed portrait of Ted Cruz '92
- Ted Cruz '92
- A healthy appetite for free food
- Your health
*This piece provides satirical advice for moving to Princeton.
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