A breaking press release from the Princeton football team indicates that the program will look to increase the strength and competitiveness of its schedule by scheduling games against Clemson and Alabama in September 2017.
After an outstanding 2016 campaign that saw the squad achieve a 6-1 record and a share of the Ivy League title, the program has evidently taken steps to improve the challenge presented by the Tigers’ opponents.
“I think it’s a great thing for the program; the logical next step, as it were,” explained Princeton Head Coach Bob Surace ’90. “Our defense was outstanding all of last season — I think I speak for both myself and the football fans of America when I say that we can’t wait to see them go head-to-head against the likes of Bo Scarbrough and Deshaun Watson.”
Both games will be at home, and are expected to set new attendance records at Princeton Stadium. The matchups will serve as strong non-conference tests for the Tigers as they prepare for Ivy League play.
Princeton students queried about the matchup expressed excitement and anticipation, along with strong faith in the Tigers.
“Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be so sure about our chances,” mused Joe Staud ’17. “But after the Golden State Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in the NBA Finals, I’m ready for anything.”
Nolan Liu ’19, an economics major, was more ambivalent, but nevertheless saw little risk in the schedule change.
“One thing’s for sure,” he observed. “We can’t lose the Clemson game, because the Tigers will win, either way.”
Dabo Swinney and Nick Saban could not be reached for comment.
*This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the internet!*
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