Let’s talk about sex

Last week I sat, panicked, in the waiting room of McCosh Health Center. I was going to die; I was sure of it.

I was awaiting the results of a sexually transmitted disease test panel that, since high school, I have scheduled routinely. Originally at the insistence of my mother (“I don’t know, and I don’t want to know, but just get into the habit of doing this before you go to college,” she had said — God bless her), it’s a habit I have tried to establish and continue for my own peace of mind as I navigate college and beyond.

Unfortunately, I have an irrational fear of contracting HIV, and whenever I’m waiting for the results of this 15-minute test I become acutely paranoid, and, as I sat in the pleather University Health Services waiting room chair last week, I came close to hyperventilating.

I know that the fear is entirely unfounded, and I remember from awkward, middle school sexual education courses that catching an STD is not an everyday ordeal unless you are participating in high-risk sexual activities. However, my logic fails me here: I still sit, waiting, breathing heavily, praying.

In the aftermath of my breakdown and its anticlimactic resolution (negative, as expected), I was able to attribute a large portion of my anxiety to the invisible, lurking presence that sexual health topics assume after the initial middle school talks and the short renaissance they enjoy in a brief orientation segment of freshman week. It’s there, and we know it’s there, but we never really openly acknowledge that it’s there. I remember a few scattered posters from UHS advertising STD testing toward the end of last year, but that was about all I encountered regarding sexual health.

It’s time to bring the issue to the foreground. While I would probably still feel uneasy during the situation described above, I think a more honest and open discourse would at least eliminate the monolithic mystery of STDs that their obscurity affords them. Granted, I am sure there are spaces available for students looking to discuss issues and ask questions related to sexual health on campus, but a cultural shift in attitudes toward sexuality, through conversation and education, would be more conducive in helping us reach an understanding of what STDs, sexual health and sexuality in general mean. Sex is the great skeleton in the closet of American culture, and, as a nation, we have always grappled with the intersection of romance and promiscuity, virtue and obscenity. It’s been easier for us to put sexual health out of sight, out of mind, always secret and discrete, rather than risk being perceived as a slut or as reacting like a prude. Even when we talk about sex — and we’re college students, so we talk about sex — it’s rarely related to actual sexual health.

The subject is so under-discussed on campus that, until I ventured to McCosh, I had no idea that HIV/AIDS testing is free to students, even those not enrolled in the Student Health Plan. The resources are available, they are just never discussed, and I know many who do not take advantage of them. Perhaps this lack of open dialogue between students is due in part to the repercussions of slut shaming and the misconception that STDs is only for the promiscuous, or perhaps it is due to America’s historic tradition of sexual silence.

Regardless, students should be more proactive about engaging in continuous dialogue about sexual health and sexual health services starting middle school. This is especially important on a university campus like Princeton’s. The patchwork of sexual education laws across the country is disturbing — with some states requiring little more than the zealous, sex-equals-death program which is most likely partly to blame for my irrational fear of STDs at large — creates disparate understandings of the risks and the myths of sexuality. While legislation to create a more cohesive set of programs takes time, college campuses can immediately facilitate conversation that helps create a more universal understanding. Open and honest conversation will ensure a safer and less sensationalized campus attitude about sex.