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Headliners and Headshakers

1. Record-high numbers participate in sorority rush; U. confused why moving rush closer to Bicker failed to weaken Greek life

2. Career Services sponsors Alternative Career Fair, defines ‘alternative’ as all life plans unrelated to finance

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3. USG changes location of weekly public meeting without notification, hopes to improve nonexistent attendance by sheer surprise

4. U.S. Department of Agriculture launches investigation of University; U. hires USDA’s top lawyer

5. ‘Students are suddenly coming up to me and asking to take selfies,’ states Eisgruber at meeting concerning sexual assault and socioeconomic diversity

6. Town council’s fracking ban prompts entrepreneurial student engineers to investigate opportunity

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