An alcoholic way to spend April Fools’ Day

There are some pranks that can happen anywhere. A bubble bath in the Scudder Plaza fountain is no different from a bubble in any other fountain. Every student center serves hamburgers that you can order and run away with while costumed as the Hamburglar. And what school doesn't have a commencement ceremony where you can release a cap-and-gown-clad, helium-filled sex doll during the mortarboard-flinging send-off?

But when it comes to the Street, things become a bit more unique. Thank God, then, that April Fools' Day happens to fall on a Thursday night this year, giving us an opportunity to implement some quintessentially Princeton pranks.

We begin at the pre-game. Despite our many talents, one thing we Princetonians can't do is detect alcohol. A few years ago, a group of fratstars made the most of this and threw a keg party with O'Doul's (or, non-alcoholic beer for those of non-Irish parentage). I can't imagine it was very hard to recruit freshmen to attend the event (unknowingly of course). For those who attempt to recreate this fantastic prank, you get bonus points for bringing sober freshmen to McCosh Health Center when they think they're too drunk to resist.

Next up: the Street. One group I know switched the face boards of two "C" clubs while doing a Prospect 10. As far as I know, the exchange has gone unnoticed. (However, this story may be false; I have so far been unable to confirm that one of the clubs in question has members.)

If you're planning a face-board swap, don't limit yourself to the Street. Why not replace a face board at Ivy with the one at the LGBT Center? Or the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority pledge class' with the Nassoons'? And if you must limit yourself to the clubs, at the very least take Cloister Inn's current board and display it somewhere in Cottage Club or Tiger Inn (though eventually they will probably try to send it over again).

This last exchange is also quite convenient, because after all this face-board swapping, it's getting late. TI time! Have a freshman steal a pig for you from a local farm. Now bring this pig with you to TI (Put a long blonde wig on its head, and the bouncer probably won't even ask it for a pass). Now grease the pig up with some beer and let it loose on the dance floor. In all likelihood, no one will notice, and the pig will just end up grinding with some Pi Phis.

In the end, of course, all nights must conclude, and eventually you're going to try to fool the cashier at the Wa into using your prox as a credit card. And then you'll fool yourself that you actually set the alarm for your morning class. When you do eventually wake up, you might even find yourself next to a new fool buddy.

Here's hoping it's not the pig.