Saturday, September 20

Previous Issues

Follow us on Instagram
Try our free mini crossword
Subscribe to the newsletter
Download the app

A Series of Uncomfortable Events, Pt. 6

I am standing here, in my towel, with your underwear in my hands.  

I was not judging you by your laundry, I promise. I did not mean to take note of the fact that there were both guy's briefs and girl's bikinis swimming together in this load. And though I really don't think that it's wise to wash delicates with jeans and towels, your laundry decisions are obviously up to you. 

ADVERTISEMENT

Oh, the reason that I'm half-naked is that the laundry room and bathroom are both quite a ways away from my room this year, but in the same direction. So I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone and throw my dirty clothes in the washing machine on my way to take a shower. 

But you look angry, so I don't think you care. I hope it's because you're swamped with work and not because I am holding your Tweety Bird underwear. Not that I hope that you're swamped with work! I'm just hoping that your aggravated expression is not directed toward me.   

I'm sorry if you wanted everything placed in the dryer instead of on the table. I personally hang dry most of my laundry, so I always feel weird if I find my clothes in the dryer upon returning to reclaim them. Do you want me to hand you this underwear? I think I'm just going to put it on the table with the rest of your laundry. 

You grab the load from the table and stuff it into the dryer. I pick my laundry bag from the floor and dump its contents into the machine. You resolutely whack the start button on the dryer. Was I supposed to apologize to you for some reason? Well, I guess it doesn't matter, because you have already dashed out of the room.

ADVERTISEMENT