1) Promise someone an economy-sized pack of two-ply toilet paper.
2) Send yourself flowers and have them delivered to your club with a note “Thanks for last night.”
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3) Ask that kid from precept. You know, that kid.
4) Ask a grad student. (Ba-doom-ch!)
5) Threaten an underclassman with a public no support in bicker.
6) Ask Mike Yaroshefsky ‘12.
7) Threaten to golf-club someone if they don’t go with you.
8) Call up your high school prom date. You never know, he, she or it might be hot by now.
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9) Take an inflatable doll. At least you’ll get some afterwards!
10) Ask a Daily Princetonian writer. We’re lonely.

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