If you think I'm a cynic, you're right. I am cynical about freshman elections, not because I don't care about my class or the USG, but because I know first-hand that frosh elections are trivial and insignificant.
Through delusions of grandeur or misplaced ambition, I made the unfortunate mistake of running for freshman class president. I was spurred by a false confidence that I was capable of winning and had something to offer. When the campaign began, I was giddy, optimistic and just a little bit stupid. After all, the prospect of maybe, possibly winning the election was exhilarating and seemed capable of quenching a guilty thirst for power.
Ultimately, my toolishness failed (rightly so, I might add) to serve my ambitions. I ran on the double-ply-toilet-paper ticket, looking to draw in voters through absurdity. When that didn't work - shocking, I know - I descended even farther, carrying a megaphone around and disturbing everyone I came into contact with. In the dining halls, in classrooms and in the Holder courtyard, my grating voice reverberated louder than it ever should have been allowed to. Unknowingly, I became a political cancer, spreading everywhere but wanted nowhere. My campaign for freshman class president demonstrated to me and regrettably to the Princeton community how much of a tool I could be.
Looking back on my joke of a campaign, I now understand what led me down the primrose path of idiocy. It is extremely difficult for a candidate to distinguish himself from a student population with such a high concentration of ambitious and talented students. The task becomes even harder when a candidate knows very little about the purpose and responsibilities of his intended office. As I tried to combat this double-barreled problem, I recognized that I couldn't distinguish myself through anything even remotely substantive, so I turned to toilet paper and megaphones.
Luckily for everyone, the freshman senator candidates haven't exceeded my toolishness. So far, they have limited their campaigning to posters - a few of which are smirk-worthy - and door-to-door chats. Even more comforting, they all seem perfectly capable of fulfilling the requirements of the post they seek. But though their campaigns have been more tolerable than mine was, they still suffer from the same root problem: None of them are noticeably distinct from their competitors'.
And how could they be, with vague, implausible or irrelevant ideas? Their proposals range from "renovating facilities" to "putting staplers at our printers" to my personal favorite, "clarifying our environmental sustainability effort." Each is a testament to the fact that while freshmen are less stupid than they were in September, we are still stupid! And instead of sacrificing self-respect for a megaphone, as I did to compensate for my inexperience, these candidates have accepted their functioning anonymity with flimsy platforms.
We are freshmen and are still mostly ignorant of the problems that the USG needs to address during the upcoming year. Few freshmen have ever been to a USG meeting and even fewer understand what the USG does. I expect that eventually we will learn how it should function and how it can be used as an engine for the betterment of the Princeton student body. Right now, however, it is clear that we haven't yet attained this knowledge.
I imagine that there are many older students who think that their elections are also insignificant. I would not presume to make that claim, since this will be my first experience with the election of upperclassmen. Nevertheless, a quick look at non-freshman candidates demonstrates that even if their elections aren't important, at least some of their ideas are realistic and potentially beneficial. The same cannot be said for the freshman senate race.
Everything indicates that our freshman politicos will eventually learn from their older peers. But for the election before us, inexperience and a superficial understanding of the USG render our candidates indistinguishable from one another. This, our Princetonian infancy, removes any apparent significance from the freshman class elections. Class of 2012, don't hold your breath awaiting the election results. This is the least significant election of your Princeton careers. And from what I hear, that's really saying something.
Peter Zakin is a freshman from New York, N.Y. He can be reached at pzakin@princeton.edu.
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