1. Pee on everyone's A's.
2. Doggie paddle in the Woody Woo Fountain.
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3. Get out of the fifth quintile of Obedience School.
4. Use Tiger Inn as a fire hydrant like everyone else does.
5. Throw Peter Singer a bone and a thank-you note.
6. Teach students to play dead. Laugh at befuddled McCosh nurses.
7. Get a facebook.com account. Friend the Yale Bulldog and then tag incriminating pictures of him.
8. Finally catch some tail.
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9. Catch black squirrel. Eat. Catch brown squirrel. Eat. Compare.
10. Escape.
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