1. Pee on everyone's A's.
2. Doggie paddle in the Woody Woo Fountain.
ADVERTISEMENT
3. Get out of the fifth quintile of Obedience School.
4. Use Tiger Inn as a fire hydrant like everyone else does.
5. Throw Peter Singer a bone and a thank-you note.
6. Teach students to play dead. Laugh at befuddled McCosh nurses.
7. Get a facebook.com account. Friend the Yale Bulldog and then tag incriminating pictures of him.
8. Finally catch some tail.
ADVERTISEMENT
9. Catch black squirrel. Eat. Catch brown squirrel. Eat. Compare.
10. Escape.

Get the best of the ‘Prince’ delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe now »