Yesterday, member's of the men's and women's rowing teams fell into mild depression upon seeing a boat overtake them during the Andrew Carnegie Manmade Lake Invitational Regatta while the passengers on board sipped Mojitos.
"I can't believe the ease with which their boat passed us. The athletes on board were not even breathing hard. It was very inspiring. Now we know what we're up against," freshman Hugh Jarms said.
Afterwards, Jarms was not so optimistic. He, along with his teammates, learned the super boat's secret while it was docked alongside them after the race. It, they discovered, had what is known as an "outboard engine" that runs on gasoline and not on the customary diet of carbohydrates, protein, and enormous amounts of excruciating discomfort.
"It's incredible," said head coach Chuck Norris. "The thing just goes and goes. Really fast. And I mean, really fast."
Director of Athletics Gary Walters '07 is not sure what this means for the future of the Princeton rowing program.
"I'm not sure what this means for the future of the Princeton rowing program," Walters said.
For right now, all the team can do is try to cope.
"I'm still in a lot of shock. I just feel so inadequate. It's going to take me a while to get over this," Jarms said. "I really have to figure out where my skill set fits in a post-industrialized world."
The University has made extra counselors available to deal with team members' dejected spirits.
"There comes a time when you've got to question what you're made of. As rowers, we're used to that. This is going to be one more challenge we'll have to overcome," junior Thomas Softbelly said.
Softbelly thinks he might do something drastic, like take up wakeboarding.
Other athletes on campus weighed in on the issue.
"Wow, that sucks for them, I guess. To have your pride and joy, the activity you dedicated your life to become completely obsolete because of some new technology. I can't fathom it really," senior fencer Shooter McGavin said.
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