Hockey needs controversy for TV ratings

I had no idea, but apparently the NHL Playoffs are underway. Unfortunately, I — and the rest of America — still don't care.

The National Hockey League has always struggled to get solid television ratings. It is, after all, a sport dominated by left-handed Canadians, 2-1 final scores and a puck that is really hard to see on TV.

Such struggles throughout the rest of the year are understandable, but one would at least expect us to pay attention during the hallowed quest for the Stanley Cup.

The NBA, for example, has suffered severe ratings losses over the past ten years, but playoff time still manages to arouse a significant amount of attention and viewership.

No matter what time of year, however, the NHL can't seem to attract much interest. ABC's average Nielsen ratings for all of their playoff games this spring have been around 2.3 on average, down 21 percent from the last time they aired the coverage.

These ratings are a far cry from the NBA's 11.1 average rating for its own postseason and pale in comparison to nearly every other major sport, even compared to six hours of golf coverage or three hours of left-hand turns (NASCAR).

With its popularity at stake, hockey needs to take some advice from the other major sports and realize that controversy is the most marketable aspect of the game.

Barry Bonds is clearly proving that in baseball. Bonds has been a welcomed source of controversy ever since the unfortunate downfall of ex-pitcher still-psycho John Rocker.

Major League Baseball knows that fans will come to watch excellent baseball, but they've also been in the business long enough to know that fans will also come to throw batteries — or more recently, syringes — at players.

They know the old mantra that any press is good press. While Bonds and his drug-fueled pursuit of the record books may ultimately be destroying the integrity of America's favorite pastime, he sure can sell tickets, even if those fans are only coming to jeer him.

Even minor league baseball is learning this trick. The Durham Bulls' Delmond Young struck out looking two weeks ago and, letting his emotions get the best of him (we've all been there), decided to throw his bat at the umpire.

While the talented 20-year-old has been suspended indefinitely, he will probably always be remembered for the incident, and now has to enroll in those annoying "coping with your rage" group therapy classes, interest in the Durham Bulls hasn't been this high since Kevin Costner and a young Tim Robbins wore the uniform in "Bull Durham."

Get the best of the ‘Prince’ delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe now »

Clearly, such controversies boost interest in a sport, yet unfortunately they serve to simultaneously promote a negative public image as well. What the NHL needs to realize however, is that bad images are far from a death sentence.

Even with the worst image, you're always only a few "Hey kids, I'm Ron Artest and for me, reading is FUNdamental"-style commercials away from being welcomed back into American households.

And even if things get really bad and you get called in front of Congress, you can always just lie.

Bad images can be fixed and the location of asterisks can be decided later, but extended periods of apathy can kill. Just as when attracting women (pay attention to this), it's better to be an asshole than to be boring.

What's really unfortunate is that the NHL had its shot. It had its chance to be the rebel. In February, our very own New Jersey state officials busted up an NHL gambling ring that was originally rumored to have involved dozens of players and coaches, even the golden ambassador of hockey: Wayne Gretzky.

The controversy at first looked promising in its severity, it was even given a catchy, badass nickname: "Operation: Slapshot".

Yet despite the wiretaps and rumors, the whole issue ultimately fizzled disappointingly. There was betting, but only on other sports. Apparently no one had the guts to bet on their own team, or to fix a game here and there. An assistant coach was fired, and that was it. And everyone still loves Wayne Gretzky.

With the death of that controversy, so died hockey's chance to be recognized. Since then, not a single hockey story has even been worthy of a spot in SportsCenter's first half hour, and they can forget a front-page headline.

The NHL playoffs will certainly demonstrate some of the best and most exciting hockey in the world for the next several days. Unfortunately, no one will be watching unless the NHL finds some controversy. They need to listen to the fans' chanting. It's time for less hockey and more fights.