A silver bullet for the Robertson suit

Are those closest to you selling out? Are your so-called friends trying to take control of your money? Are you tired of lawsuits and bad press?

Well, Wilson School, have I got the cure for you!

So you've had a bit of a tussle with this Robertson family. Seems you're having a little he-said-she-said over the definition of "public service." Friend, I know of a plum career path that definitely does count as public service, government service and for whatever else those darned Robertsons are clamoring: elected office.

That's right, kiddos. Look no further to find public service jobs for Woody Wooers distracted by private sector careers that offer fat paychecks, enviable power and/or minimized workweeks. Look to Congress.

This year the House of Representatives is on track to be in session for 97 days. That's right, about a quarter of the total number of days in a calendar year. Fewer days than any House since at least 1948, a year whose Congress President Harry Truman, during his reelection campaign,ridiculed as "do-nothing" for being in session just 108 days.

Today's calendar has seen some improvements since Truman's time. This year, Representatives get an entire week off for both "St. Patrick's Day" and "Presidents Day," 31 days for "August" and 16 weeks for "any holidays between October 6 and January 31."

Pretty sweet, huh?

It does seem a bit unusual that they'd have only 97 days in session, considering last year they had a whopping 141 days (Whoa! That's like almost two-fifths of the days of the calendar year!). But as House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) told USA Today, "This is an election year, and people want to see more of their constituents." Which I'm sure means not campaigning-to-get-reelecteded-so-one-can-continue-campaigning-to-get-reelected but rather having some responsible representative powwow time with the hearts and minds of one's district.

The days out of session might also provide representatives with more time to prepare for those few nerve-racking, jam-packed days when they actually are in session. During their overbooked Tuesday to Thursday workweeks, representatives often don't have time to study or even read bills before they vote on them, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. That must be pretty stressful!

In any case, when you're on vacation more than President Bush, you know life is good.

Speaking of George W. Bush, dear Woody Woo, you should note another recently broken government record that reminds us just what a totally sweet job being a congressman is. As of last Wednesday, Bush holds the record for the longest time in office without issuing a presidential veto since Thomas Jefferson. Bush's reluctance to overrule a congressional say-so must indicate that he's especially respectful of congressional authority. Hey, congressmen are powerful dudes. They're so powerful that they can even make Bush's illegal NSA wiretapping program retroactively legal!

Can an i-banking firm do that? Didn't think so.

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Besides the vacations and the power, representatives get to choose their own salaries without consulting with their "employers" (i.e., the constituents with whom they spend 268 days of the year powwowing). They also get to vote on their own raises. Actually, it's even better than that. The annual raises are automatic, so technically they only vote if they don't want to give themselves a raise! (This measure comes in handy when you're only available to vote on 25 percent of calendar days.) This year's salary, for any old joe-schmo representative, is $165,200; leaders get more. Come on, Wilson School, how many other jobs have a starting salary in the sextuple digits?

There are other perks, too. Besides a nice fat salary, representatives can sometimes get all-expense-paid trips during their 268 days of vacation — like to golf retreats in Scotland — totally free!

Dean Anne-Marie Slaughter '80 and the rest of the Wilson School administration, this shouldn't be such a hard sell. If you want to make peace with the Robertson family, just remind all your undergrads that a sellout federal elected office has all the benefits of a sellout private sector job and more. Encourage your undergrads to run today!

Okay, yes, there is that pesky-minimum-age-of-25 thing. But there's an easy solution. Just tell your undergrads to take a few years off after college until they're eligible to run. They'll probably want the time to powwow with their constituents, anyway. Catherine Rampell is an anthropology major from Palm Beach, Fla. She can be reached at crampell@princeton.edu.