And you thought your ballot was long

On Nov. 2, while the rest of the country watched their blue and red colored states on national television and continued to debate the bigger issues of abortion, Iraq, Vietnam, health care and education, the citizens of Alabama were on the edge of their seats. Sure, they'd listened to the debates, skimmed the editorials and studied Fox News, but just then, that didn't mean a whole lot to them. On Nov. 2, they had a chance to make history by removing school segregation, rulings against the right to an education and the poll tax.

It's not that Alabama's so bad, just its constitution. Once seen as the most progressive democratic constitution — granted, that was in 1819 — its basic structure against self-rule of counties has literally prohibited further state advancement. In short, no county is allowed to make legislation for itself without going before the state. So if Lauderdale County wants a liquor license, people across the state working the hot dog stands in Gulf Shores have to approve it. Everything's illegal in Alabama, unless it's footnoted somewhere in the 743 amendments.

Originally hailed for their ability to suppress dueling and provide "white manhood suffrage without regard to wealth, literacy or church affiliation," the constitution and the state legislature now get bogged down amending and repealing rulings prohibiting spending of state dollars on internal improvements (roads and bridges), outlawing prostitution in Jefferson County and allowing for the excavation of human graves in order to control malaria. There are over a dozen amendments referring to bingo.

It's no wonder the courts get so behind dealing with the little things like beaver tails, dead farm animals and catfish production that things of actual importance, such as the ban on interracial marriage, weren't noticed until the last election, when it was officially removed from the constitution. It barely passed, but only because there were 49 other amendments to be considered and on a lunch hour, it can get awfully tempting to vote straight-ticket "No" when the typical ballot includes allowances for the "advertisement of cattle."

This time, however, school segregation and the poll tax need only compete with seven other amendments, ranging from amendment four "to provide for the promotion of shrimp and seafood" to amendment six establishing that the Crenshaw County judge of probate's salary be the same as that of the district judge of Crenshaw County. I don't know where Crenshaw County is, nor who the respective judges are, or even if the probate should be making anywhere near the amount of a district judge. To be honest, it's hard to care.

As such, Alabama's stuck in 1901, along with its latest draft of the constitution that offers "protection against the evils of intoxicating liquors at elections" and safety provisions for neighbors' mules. Until Alabama gets its act together about this, the unabridged dictionary-sized document will continue to serve as a stumbling block cornerstone for state legislation and commonsensical social progression. Perhaps by making its 2004 election voters legitimately part of the Civil Rights movement, the need to reform, or rather redraft, the Constitution will become readily apparent. Maybe it's because we're not a swing state, but to me that's a little more exciting than waiting to turn red or blue on CNN. Ashley Johnson is an English major from Florence, Ala. She can be reached at ajohnson@princeton.edu.