Rethinking Bicker from the inside

For the past two years, I have been a member of one of Princeton's Bicker eating clubs, including a year spent as an officer and a resident.

As I near graduation and reflect on my undergraduate experience, I regret the role I've played in perpetuating Bicker and urge Princetonians to work toward ending this frighteningly well-organized system of social exclusion.

I value deeply my friendships with fellow members, and many of my happiest memories from Princeton emerge from club activities. Nonetheless, it has become increasingly difficult to suppress my distaste for a system that teaches us to revel in elitism, to enjoy power over others and to judge our peers based on brief conversations or an individual's connections.

The amount of time that some students invest in executing exclusion is horrifying. Members devote days to Bicker and all-nighter bid sessions while officers spend months planning the logistics of Bicker season. Extremely intelligent, capable and moral people — many are dear friends I love and admire — spend time maximizing their club's number of bickerees to allow more selectivity when choosing the "best" incoming class.

Having used it as a crutch myself, I know the argument for Bicker too well: "Bicker is life. People will always make judgments based on quick interactions."

I ask you: Is this truly how we want to conduct our lives? Is the gain of exclusivity worth hurting friends or even strangers? James Baldwin wrote, "Whoever debases others is debasing himself." This is the ultimate reality of Bicker, the consequence we've chosen to ignore.

Why are we so willing to judge and exclude? Are we not capable of more generosity and tolerance? Is our insecurity so powerful that we succumb to self-validation through indecent systems?

I am blessed to have kind and accepting friends, but I am troubled that we've mutually indulged our judgmental inclinations, instead of holding each other to a higher moral standard.

Does Princeton's elite status, due in part to its exclusivity, signal to students that social selectivity is justified? If so, we're forgetting our school motto — "Princeton in the Nation's Service, and in the Service of All Nations," — which reminds us that the privilege of a world-class education is accompanied by responsibility. The elitism of Bicker only perpetuates social advantage among a select group, and signals a failure on behalf of many students to take this motto seriously.

There are undoubtedly Princetonians who join Bicker clubs because they enjoy feeling superior to others — a troubling prospect. What scares me more, though, are the people who like myself believe in their hearts that Bicker is wrong and keep doing it.

For a while I thought that by privately condemning what was going on around me, I was morally excused. But quiet dissenters are the people who truly generate societal problems by not acting against what we know is wrong. I cannot emphasize enough that there are deeply moral and caring people who participate in Bicker, at my club and elsewhere. Many, I know, share my qualms and similarly suppress them. I fear we're all setting a dangerous precedent of silence and complicity for ourselves early in our lives.

We are often told Princeton students are the future leaders of the world, yet we blindly continue traditions dating from the University's racist and sexist times.

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I know that, by writing this, I risk alienating my peers and valued friends, but I don't want to leave without expressing my beliefs about an institution I have implicitly and explicitly supported.

I urge underclassmen that are considering bickering to fully weigh the moral implications of your decision. Realize that you are not merely deciding to subject yourself to judgment; by bickering, you will be affirming your support of an elitist institution and will then, as a member, be required to "evaluate" others.

To those seniors who feel the same way I do about their involvement in Bicker, I say: Let us make our choice to participate our most poignant learning experience at Princeton. Perhaps then, instead of believing that "Bicker is life," we will leave here and practice a true spirit of generosity and acceptance. Stephanie Greenberg '04 served as an officer of Tower Club last year. She can be reached at sgreenbe@princeton.edu.