Detoxing the social scene

"I think I'm going to stop drinking," said a slightly drunken friend of mine. "It's bad for me, and I need to get my life together."

"Okay," I said. "Good plan!"

She stopped, an alarmed expression wrinkling her brow. "But then what would I do with my time?" she cried.

Indeed, the Street comprises a hefty portion of Princeton University's social life. For many in the habit of flitting from one club to another, scrounging passes, drink, and dates, a Saturday night without Prospect Avenue is like midterm week without caffeine — unthinkable!

And to its credit, the Street can certainly offer a place to meet new people. But how can people get to know each other when an eardrum-mauling bass line makes it impossible to hear or speak? One is almost compelled to argue that "getting to know" someone is hardly the purpose.

The key to enjoying the eating clubs then is to accept them for what they are. During the day, they provide a meal plan for juniors and seniors; at night, they offer music, fun, and alcohol. They pass time, make good (or really bad) stories, and give students an opportunity to run into one another.

These meetings, however, are only the first steps at best to forming deep, worthwhile relationships. Delusions to the contrary only breed disillusionment.

Guys: if you meet a girl you like and want to get to know her, take her somewhere else. Bands at Cafe Vivian, plays at Theatre Intime, or tea at Murray Dodge Cafe offer just a few mellow reprieves, highly conducive to intimate conversation. The awkwardness, besides being an integral part of the experience, does wear off.

And ladies: If you meet a boy you like, take him somewhere else. If the prospect of going somewhere quiet and sober with you scares him, he does not want to get to know you, you are not his girlfriend, and his respect for you as a person is likely minimal—regardless of whatever else he says.

We came to this university to educate ourselves, academically and socially. Isn't it just a little bit sad that a sober Engineering student that can tackle six or seven classes a semester cannot handle six or seven minutes alone in a crowded room? That a Comp. Lit. major who speaks four languages still cannot speak to someone new?

You don't have to morally oppose alcohol to refuse to become dependent upon it. Just as it facilitates conversation, it often impedes that internal process of growth and cripples our capacity to interact. If we are as bright as we are pitched, can we not expect a little more out of ourselves and each other?

For those few freshman and some older students that have either exhausted the eating club scene or found it unappealing from the start, alternatives exist. For those that know the Street for what it is and really enjoy it, the clubs can certainly present a good time.

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But for those who do not enjoy the Street unless desperately intoxicated, have difficulties adjusting to the superficial atmosphere, and feel that they want a deeper, more meaningful Princeton social experience, branching out is not impossible.

It is not a worthless effort to put the fears and illusions aside, look around, and at least temporarily seek a different route. If one comes up empty, the Street will always be there, but four years is too long and too valuable to waste being unhappy.

Sanhita Sen is a freshman from Yorktown, Va. You can reach her at sen@princeton.edu.