Dating and the cinema: peril and romance

One of the oldest and most celebrated traditions of dating in the United States is also one that is the most fraught with peril and confusion—this is the tradition of going to the movies with a potential romantic interest. While taking a date to the movies can be an excellent choice — a movie can be a perfect follow-up to dinner and entrée to the next stage in a relationship — great caution is required to avert potential disaster. And when I say "taking a date to the movies," I don't mean going to see a film with your girlfriend or boyfriend of two or more months. The kind of date I'm talking about comes at the beginning of a relationship (let's say before you and your romantic interest make it to the two-month mark).

In honor of Valentine's Day, a day that, perhaps, prompts more taking of dates to the movies than most, I have compiled some tips for succeeding at this fraught endeavor:

At the theatre, sit in the back. If the temperatures of you and your date start to rise, you won't annoy other cinema-goers, and they will be less likely to interrupt the action.

Despite its appearance and reappearance in a variety of silly television programs and movies, putting your arm around your date's shoulder is strictly forbidden — especially when this move is played off as a yawn and stretch. First, the move is, quite simply, absurd and is likely to alienate your date and frighten the rest of the audience. Second, the armrests found in most theaters make the position resulting from this move uncomfortable. A far better move is to share popcorn with your date or lightly brush against his or her arm on the armrest. Either of these options promotes gentle, but subtle, contact.

When watching a film in the comfort of your room, be sure to sit on a couch, bed or other piece of furniture that you and your date can share. Sitting in two separate chairs while watching a film defeats the purpose of seeing it with a date.

Finally, the choice of movie is crucial. Loud action films are awful choices for obvious reasons of mood and focus. However, sappy romances and melodramas (i.e. chick flicks) are a bad idea as well. A great choice on home video: "When Harry Met Sally." Romantic, but light and easy to watch without extreme focus, this film typifies the ideal date film. A poor choice: "The American President." Playing right now, "Calendar Girls" (not a particularly inspiring film) would be a good choice. "Cold Mountain," on the other hand, is a film whose length and drama should be avoided at all costs when taking a date to the movies.

Of course, more important than all this gamesmanship is having a nice companion whose company you enjoy and with whom you are comfortable. Happy Valentine's Day, and good luck with movie-going and dating!