The nicely embossed brochures the University sends you tell all about the fascinating activities and extracurricular programs available at Princeton. Yet they leave out one important fact: Unless your name happens to be Houdini, you will be hard-pressed to sample even a few of them. Over the next four years you are going to be very busy with your work alone.
Never fear, however, because there are a variety of tactics for dealing with course chagrin, paper paralysis and homework hysteria.
The art of procrastination
There is, of course, the most obvious and initially painless option: sloth. This method, favored by rampant party animals, involves engaging in "strategic curriculum avoidance" — in other words, simply not doing any work. Enjoy the adrenaline rush of taking exams without having cracked a book. Sharpen your doublespeak skills in precept.
The practitioners of this technique are usually not Wilson School majors or engineers. They spend a high percentage of their time on Prospect Avenue.
They also usually depart Princeton in ignominy. Total work withdrawal almost guarantees an express trip down flunk-out lane. Every year approximately 20 students receive cordial requests that they take a "leave of absence" — the phrase's first word being its operative element. Some come back more serious the next semester. Some never return.
Those who wish to work halfheartedly forge a different path through Princeton — the way of the guts.
Seek the 'Guts'
Guts — courses so easy that anyone with minimal brain activity can pull a Bwithout much effort — can be found at Princeton if you know where to look. Rather than referring to the courses by their proper names, students endow them with endearing — if not demeaning — nicknames such as "Clapping for Credit," "Rocks for Jocks," "Shake and Bake" and "Physics for Poets."
Not all classes with nicknames are guts, however. "Death Mechanics," "Death Lab" and "Turbo Chem" are, in fact, anything but easy.
The allure of the gut can be further increased by the pass/D/fail option. If you elect to take a course p/d/f, any grade from A+ to Cwill be recorded as "P" and won't count towards your GPA.
Use your p/d/f option to try out new things or to help in your quest to satisfy Princeton's distribution requirements. Keep in mind, though, that some of the most popular — and most difficult — classes are "No p/d/f."
Before choosing your fall courses, take a moment to peruse the Student Course Guide (www.princeton.edu/scg). There you'll find candid reviews of each course, including comments about the professor, workload and grading. Just keep in mind each review offers only one student's opinion of the course.
Read between the lines
Subtext is everything when it comes to course readings and professorial edicts. As a freshman, it is vital that you learn some simple tricks of linguistic analysis sooner rather than later.
Statement: "This reading is vital to understanding the background of the issues this course will address."
Translation: "This won't be on the final."
A further aspect of this technique involves careful observation of text authorship — if the professor wrote it, you should memorize it, quote it in papers and bring it up in passing conversation.
Communicate extensively with students who have taken your classes in the past to find out what parts of that enormous syllabus and reading list are really important. Every freshman has an RA or RCA who can help or, if not, can direct you to someone who can.
Your academic adviser can be helpful, too. Just don't be surprised when your adviser from the Near Eastern Studies department coerces you into taking Turkish.
Professors
Professors are quite willing to talk about their courses, though they have a curious tendency to downplay negative aspects. Most faculty members hold regular office hours, but Murphy's Law almost guarantees you will have class at that time. Call or email for an appointment.
Start planning to fulfill distribution requirements early so they do not hang over your head when you are trying to write your JP or senior thesis.
On the other hand, take care to balance your interests with new explorations. After all, that's why you're coming here. But have fun doing it, and save space for outside interests — they are as much a part of the "college experience" as classrooms.
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