Ask Sue Dyer '03, and she will tell you it does not matter. The answer is not important, the Pride Alliance co-president says, because she is comfortable with her homosexuality.
But for many across the political spectrum, the role of nature and nurture in determining sexual preference could forever change the way society views homosexuality and gay rights.
The question of nature versus nurture is black and white, but the answers can only be found in the gray. And as Dyer is quick to point out, both answers pose considerable challenges to the gay community.
"I only care because I'm afraid of what would happen if it could somehow be definitely proved that homosexuality was not genetic," Dyer said. "If homosexuality is a choice, then it opens up attacks on parenting and makes it easier to say it is wrong to be gay."
The other option, that homosexuality is genetically determined, would both liberate and threaten the gay community. It would make homosexuality more acceptable, Dyer said, something that could not be changed even through hate and violence.
But a genetic link also could open the door to calls for genetic engineering or a cure to homosexuality.
"I don't think it matters," said Pride Alliance co-president Betsy Smith '03. "Either way, I'm not going to change."
A gay gene
Having a gay brother less than two years older than she, Dyer is not sure whether a "gay gene" runs in her family, but her brother's coming out of the closet helped her resolve her own sexual preference.
Dyer had a few non-serious boyfriends during her Catholic high school years, but when she was a sophomore in high school and her brother announced he was gay, she began to consciously notice her attraction to other females.
"Part of it was being more aware because of my brother, and part of it was learning more about myself," Dyer said.
While not sure whether homosexuality is genetic, Dyer is sure that she did not choose to be gay. She scoffs at claims that her coming out was a whimsical decision — rather, it was one of the hardest things she has ever had to do.
"The coming-out process is scary," said Dyer, who despite having a girlfriend her senior year remained partially in the closet throughout high school.
"My best guy friend in high school asked me if I was gay, and I denied it," she said. "I was scared. I didn't know how he'd react."
Dyer was fearful of how her parents would take the news and was even afraid of telling her gay brother. Generally, she said, she was afraid of being rejected — by both those closest to her and by those she did not even know.
Dyer gradually realized her attraction for her own sex, and it took a while before she started to consciously make the connection between her thoughts and her desires.
"I can think of a time when I was 13 and thought about another girl for the first time, but I blocked it out," she said. "I had an unconscious knowing that being gay was not okay."
Once her desires and self-image began to strengthen, her concern was no longer whether she was gay, but what her parents would think.
"My parents were scared for me. They didn't want me to be discriminated against," Dyer said.
She was blessed with progressive parents, she said, who were very accepting of her announcement. But even if her friends, brother and parents had been less supportive, the only thing that might have changed was the timing she came out of the closet.
"I think I would be gay even if I had different or harder circumstances," she said.
Choosing homosexuality
Smith maintains that harsh circumstances play a role in determining when people come to terms with their sexual preference and how comfortable they feel with it, but that preference itself is engrained.
"I think my sexuality is a part of me," she said. "It's who you're attracted to. But I don't know if there's a specific gene.
"Nurture determines whether you can be open with yourself and others. There are many gay people who never come out of the closet for this reason."
Homosexuality is most likely not a choice, she said, because there are countless examples of people who are gay despite adverse circumstances like harassment and familial estrangement.
A good friend of Smith's is gay, but was raised in an openly homophobic family and has to keep her sexuality hidden from her parents — a burden very few people would willingly assume, Smith said.
"Coming out was such a painful process for some people, and if it was a choice, they never would have done it," she said.
And while Smith does not regret her sexuality, she still gets bittersweet pangs when she sees a heterosexual couple holding hands in public with no one taking a second glance.
"It is then that I wish I could be straight," she said. "It would just be easier."
Growing up, Smith's parents were supportive of gay rights and made a point of protesting companies with homophobic reputations.
This progressive attitude, however, did not prevent her mother from trying to discourage her daughter from being out of the closet. Like Dyer's parents, her mother foresaw all the challenges Smith would face because of her sexual preference.
And even though Smith's parents took the news relatively calmly and have since grown to accept her sexuality, like Dyer, Smith said she would have been gay either way.
"I think I would have had a much harder time with different circumstances, but I'd still be attracted to girls," she said. "I feel bad for people with less-accepting situations. I'm so comfortable with it myself that it makes everything a lot easier."
Against the grain
The circumstances for Pride Alliance vice president Kris Kersey '04 were about as trying as possible. Growing up on a military base, he found a culture far less accepting of his homosexuality than those of Dyer and Smith.
"I grew up in a very heterosexist, religious environment," Kersey said. "I had absolutely no desire to be gay, and I sincerely wanted to be straight. That made coming out difficult."
But as time wore on and the truth became harder to mask, Kersey decided to be honest with himself and his family.
"Eventually I had to admit that I had been born gay, whether I wanted to be gay or not," he said.
Kersey is an adamant supporter of sexual preference being a matter of genetics despite his 23 cousins — all of whom identify themselves as heterosexuals. Growing up, his circumstances pushed him toward a life of heterosexuality, and he simply could not follow.
His parents, however, were very supportive of his ultimate announcement — something Kersey credits for his openness and comfort with his sexuality.
"My parents were wonderful and very understanding. They say that they wish I was straight simply because it presents fewer challenges to living a happy life in our society," he said. "I believe that their feelings have helped me to feel much more comfortable with the label gay, simply because it has done nothing to harm our relationship."
Ultimately, Kersey finds the entire question of nature versus nurture to be a moot point. Everything the gay community is fighting for through the gay rights movement is completely unrelated to questions about a "gay gene."
"It is a movement against discrimination, bigotry and mostly ignorance," he said. "Religion is not genetically linked, yet we shouldn't discriminate on that basis. However, race is genetically linked, and we shouldn't discriminate on that basis either."
The primate example
Further blurring the line between nature and nurture, ecology and evolutionary biology professor Elizabeth Fox wrote in the American Journal of Primatology that homosexual behavior forms part of the sexual repertoire of a large array of primate species, though such frequency of expression ranges from rare to common.
"Homosexual behavior occurs rarely in the wild but is frequently observed in captive conspecifics," wrote Fox, who specializes in the study of primates.
She goes on to write that homosexual behavior in wild populations supports hypotheses about homosexuality's significance in forming and maintaining social relationships and social support.
Fox's research points out that homosexual behavior is present in many different primate species — a nod to some sort of genetic link. Yet, she also found human beings to have a unique social expression of their homosexuality.
"Humans are the only primate species in which individuals form homosexual pair bonds to the exclusion of heterosexual behavior," Fox wrote.
While homosexuality might result from genetics, its frequency and characteristics suggest some other factor might also be playing a role.
For now, the answer to the question of nature versus nurture continues to reside in the gray. And the debate remains a hot-button issue with far-reaching implications of sexuality, genetics and human nature, with a definitive answer not likely to arise in the near future, if ever — but that is perfectly acceptable to Dyer, Kersey and Smith.
"I don't think gay people or straight allies need an answer," Smith said, "I think it is other people who need the answer."
Homosexuality is as old as humanity itself, Kersey said. And even if a black or white answer never makes its way out of the gray, Dyer, Smith and Kersey are comfortable with their sexuality — and they need no more proof than that.
Read More
David Zielenziger ’74, former ‘Prince’ chairman and lifelong journalist, passes away at 72
Kian PetlinFriends and colleagues remember former ‘Prince’ chairman David Zielenziger ’74, who passed away peacefully on May 20.
Friends and colleagues remember former ‘Prince’ chairman David Zielenziger ’74 who passed away peacefully on May 20.
Remembering Dorothea von Moltke, Labyrinth co-founder and local community builder
Lucia BrownDorothea von Moltke, widely considered the heart of Labyrinth Books, was remembered by friends and loved ones for her passions for language, literature, and local activism.
Dorothea von Moltke, widely considered the heart of Labyrinth Books, was remembered by friends and loved ones for her passions for language, literature, and local activism.
Cloister Inn to pause operations for the next 2–3 years, citing “hefty renovations”
Justus WilhoitCloister Inn, one of Princeton’s eating clubs, will pause operations for the next two to three years, due to “hefty renovations” to the club’s house.
Cloister Inn, one of Princeton’s eating clubs, will pause operations for the next two to three years, due to “hefty renovations” to the club’s house.