Making friends with community youth

With classes in full swing and ever-building workloads, most Princeton students would give up even their beloved tiger stripes for the carefree days of their childhood.

It may be easier than they think.

For just an hour a week, the Student Volunteers Council Big Brother / Big Sister Mentoring program provides University students with an opportunity to indulge in the storybooks, soccer games, Disney movies, bowling alleys and other lost treasures of youth with community children. Whether the mentors help the students with homework or simply play games and chat with them, they can serve as positive role models that many of the children have not known in their lives.

With more than 70 mentors currently involved in the program, the Big Brother / Big Sister program is more than ready to tackle a new academic year. For a program that has enjoyed such remarkable success as one of Princeton's oldest and largest SVC services, the Big Brother / Big Sister program makes it surprisingly easy to get involved.

Due to the hectic lives that most Princeton students lead, many simply cannot serve the community as they did in high school. The very word commitment sends shivers down most overwhelmed, ambitious spines.

The Big Brother / Big Sister program, however, only requires one hour of a student's time each week and is uniquely flexible. The volunteer and mentoree arrange mutually convenient times, which can vary from week to week. Something as simple as a Sunday brunch together or a game of catch can provide a much-needed break for both of the "siblings."

As program coordinator Amit Shah '02 notes, "An hour or two may not seem like much, but you can get a lot done in that time.

"It's not really a question of will I have time, but will I be able to make time?" he said.

Coordinator Rebecca Snyder '04 praises the commitment as the "most positive aspect of the program." Snyder clearly feels that, as in any true friendship, building a trusting relationship through the mentoring program takes time. In most cases, siblings will remain paired together throughout the mentor's Princeton experience — which provides potential for a four-year relationship, depending on when the volunteer joins the program.

Thus, Snyder concludes, "Instead of just knowing a child on the surface level, the volunteers are able to really develop a relationship with the child over time, providing the child with someone to talk to, to help with homework, to ask for advice, to call up on the phone, and to just be will with."

Because all little brothers and sisters are recommended to the program through guidance counselors and teachers to deal with a troubled family or social situation, this type of stability is particularly vital. The SVC works in conjunction with community schools to match mentors with children that have some common interests or similar backgrounds in order to maximize the chance of a mutually rewarding, intimate friendship.

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The pairing process involves a written application or "activities form" describing a potential mentor's interests, a written recommendation, and an interview.

And the program has been doing a good job of finding suitable mentors for individual children. Most big brothers and sisters do not have enough glowing things to say about their young friends. Courtney Summer '04 was very enthusiastic about another year of mentoring her little sister Jennifer.

"I think I'm always as excited to see her as she is to see me — I have to say I'm so glad I joined this program!" she said.

Likewise, Shah expressed genuine brotherly affection for his mentoree of three years, Stanley. "I've gained a brother," he said with a smile after treating Stanley to a Sunday brunch in Forbes College.

Without a doubt, the Big Brother / Big Sister program benefits mentors just as much as it does their little siblings. Coordinator Michele Arnold '04 joined the program for the very purpose of getting more involved in the community, and has not been disappointed.

"In short, this program has enabled me to keep perspective," she said.

Shah also pointed out the importance of a break from the hustle and bustle of Princeton life. Taking Stanley to children's movies and bowling allies makes him nostalgic for his childhood, he said.

Snyder captured both of their feelings, "It's wonderful to be able to take a break from the week and the stress at Princeton and just remember what it's like to be a kid again.

"Other students can easily get involved, and we welcome anyone," she added.

The program discourages students who are not whole-heartedly committed from joining the program, however. Many of the little siblings lack a strong parental force in their lives, and an unreliable mentor can add to their feelings of abandonment or rejection.

For those students who are willing to put aside an hour a week for fun childhood pastimes, the program offers an immense sense of self-worth and fulfillment.

Michele Arnold concluded, "I believe that this program is one of the many that demonstrates that college students, particularly Princeton students do care."