For USG president PJ Kim '01, it used to be all about getting student input. But after announcing yesterday a plan to distribute condoms to all undergraduates free of charge, it's about getting students to put it in.
In perhaps one of the boldest and certainly most bizarre initiatives of his administration, Kim has decided to offer prophylactics to all University students who want them — and even to attractive freshman females who don't.
"OK, so yeah, this might seem a little crazy, but you can never be too prepared," Kim said, stroking a small packet of Trojan condoms in his right hand. "I feel like my year has been marred by unsuccessful endeavors, and I just want the students to know that I'm looking out for them, and their genitalia."
Kim added that because USG president-elect Joe Kochan '02 will focus on workers' rights during the upcoming year, he wants to emphasize students' needs during the last days of his presidency.
"I just want to drive it home, thrusting all my power forward in these last days," Kim said. "I'm not sure the University will like this, but we've had a good relationship this past year. This initiative has been building up for a while, and I want to create a little friction between me and the Princeton administration so I can finish my term off with a burst."
Academics chair Jeff Gelfand '01 agreed with Kim's decision.
"Princeton students work hard in school. Why shouldn't we get to work hard in other pursuits without the fear of where our partners have been or that scorching case of herpes that we can sometimes get after a late night of drinking at Tower? Not that I would know how that is, but I've heard, you know, from friends," Gelfand explained.
President Shapiro declined to comment extensively on the initiative, saying only, "Look, I'm on way out, just like PJ. What do I care if Princeton students decide to fornicate on University grounds. I just hope this is a climactic ending for PJ's reign."
Kim originally had said the condoms would be put in students' mailboxes by late yesterday, but undergraduates who checked their mail at Frist last night said they hadn't come.
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