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News & Notes

Crew

The Princeton crew program was disbanded this past week following an NCAA scandal. The Tigers, after engaging in what the college athletics governing board referred to as "serious recruiting violations," will be out of action at least until 2005. Director of Athletics Gary Walters '67 plans to use the Shea Rowing Center as a conference center in the interim.

Sprint Football

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In another example of a football program cashing in on the power of its name despite questionable success, the Princeton sprint football team will replace Notre Dame in the Bowl Championship Series following the Irish's embarrassing 41-9 loss to Oregon State in the Fiesta Bowl, BCS officials announced yesterday.

"Neat," said breviloquent senior captain Mike Piazza.

The other two captains were unavailable for comment. According to an anonymous Pentagon source, quarterback Geoff Gasperini is currently stationed in Central Asia, fighting a secret war against COBRA command. Free safety Jeremy Green was injured while removing an empty keg from the TI taproom and remains in critical but stable condition at PMC.

Women's Hockey

The Tigers rolled to an 11-2 win over Niagara on Tuesday afternoon. Princeton was led by freshman forward Laura Haze, who had two goals. Senior defender Nicola Holmes and her younger sister, sophomore forward Annamari, each added a tally of her own. Sophomore forwards Aleena Brown and Eve Possuient — who just joined the team this week — added goals of their own.

Crew

Actually, the above information was not entirely correct. Princeton's men's heavyweight, women's open, men's lightweight and women's lightweight crew teams were not disbanded. In fact, all won national championships this past week. Our bad!

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