Hilary Maddox stepped cheerfully onto the field for her first collegiate lacrosse practice, eager to begin experiencing the differences between a low-key high school environment to playing for a top Division I school.
Three miles and several sprints later, she doubled over in the middle of the field and threw up, stumbling to the ground. She lay there pale and panting, feeling her body, sticky and sweaty, sink into the grass. Another freshman, Molly Hall saw what happened and hurried over. She told her worriedly to stay down, stay calm, breathe.
Then coach Chris Sailer came and peered down at Maddox, sprawled in the middle of the field.
"Hey!" she yelled. "Get up and run!"
So Maddox staggered up. And then she ran. Welcome to Princeton lacrosse.
Three years later she is a senior and co-captain with her best friend Hall on the No. 9 ranked team in the country. She has started every game when she was not injured and will be one of the most critical components of a Tiger team shaken by the loss of nine seniors — including eight starters.
The first day at practice she stepped into a different world. And she decided she wanted to stay there.
"It was such a shocker," Maddox said, grinning. "But I guess it was a happy shocker. It was the next step I knew I had to take if I wanted to keep up with the players who were competing for a national championship."
Now those kind of training sessions are routine.
But, Maddox said, "I see freshmen now and they're in the exact same place I was, and they're so scared."
So she and other seniors on the team tell the stories about making the transition from running a single lap in high school and calling it a day to working on lacrosse six days a week, all year, for hours; from playing under gym teachers who coach in their spare time to a professional coach who demands dedication, effort and results.
It is not easy and not for everyone: when Maddox started out there were 12 people in her class. Now there are four.
But she was committed to making the adjustments, the same way she has done throughout her sports career — whether it involved learning to laugh about grueling workouts, overcoming humiliation in bhigh school over her 6-foot frame or confronting fear of a coach who is now considered "a good friend."
As a freshman, Sailer said, "I think for Hilary it was learning mentally to push through that fatigue and set higher standards for yourself, not to give up and always work your hardest.
"She had a tough fall. But I had seen her play, and I knew she could be better."
Now after three years, coach and co-captain are comfortable talking regularly about the team, or anything else. Sailer has helped Maddox adapt as a player to the changing needs of the team and adjust as a person to the more demanding role of captain.
Maddox shouts across the field, takes people aside if they're late for lifting or not running back to the locker room after practice.
"I mean, she's a kid who's really been an unsung hero for three years for us," Sailer said. "She's kind of played in the shadow of some of the older kids for a few years. It's definitely been a role she's had to grow into, but this year she has really embraced this role as a captain and a leader. She's the kind of kid who ever since she got here has been at the head of the pack of all the runs."
Now Maddox leads the bear crawls and duck walks — new training exercises initiated by the men's football strength and conditioning coach, Matt Fleming, who is working with the women's lacrosse team for the first time this season, that involve lugging or pushing heavy weights while stretching muscles — and has learned to relish the experience for the improved fitness and team intimacy it's provided.
"She's this continual source of energy," senior Jen Alexander said. "She never complains about getting tired. She's always been such a strong force in my mind—she does it all."
But Maddox did not always feel that self-assurance.
In high school, the spindly sports star learned to harness her height and shifted her view: what once was a social stigma would become a lucrative gift, packed with possibilities.
Called Big Bird, Giraffe Neck, and Amazon Woman, she was taller than all of her friends and towered awkwardly over the boys. She dreaded school pictures where she would be stowed in the last row, her head sticking out like scarecrow, larger than life. She hated dance classes, where no one wanted to dance with her and she was too embarrassed to volunteer for class demonstrations.
But junior year during a game of soccer, she knocked into a girl from the opposing team.
"She said 'watch it, big guy,' or something mean," Maddox said. "And I realized I should focus my anger on something different than being tall."
Something different — like playing the game.
Now Maddox cradles the ball above her head, where no other players can reach it, she takes the center draw. Strategic plays include lofting passes to Maddox near the goal where she can just lift her stick up slightly, and plop the ball in.
This has not been without its costs — she is frequently checked in the head, has suffered three concussions, and in high school needed stitches above her right eye. But to her it's worth it.
"I guess as I've grown older I've come to make to understand that quirks can work to my advantage," she said."I'm growing into myself."
She's had enough time. From kindergarten through high school she competed — at different times — in seven different sports: soccer, ice hockey, lacrosse, football, basketball, tennis and track.
At Princeton, she has gone from a key transition player to a defensive force and now is being asked to chip in on the offensive end although she has averaged only 13 points a season over three years.
But she is not worried. It is only one more challenge to meet.
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