U. researchers find Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo*
A recent study conducted by researchers in the University's Department of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology found that buffalo from Buffalo intimidate — and even assault — buffalo from Buffalo.
The study, entitled "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo," suggests that buffaloes in the wildlife intimidate and assault each other, just as humans do.
"I believe our findings ultimately prove that buffaloes are capable of doing basically everything humans do," Wilde Lyfe, a lecturer in the department who led the research, said, "the good, the bad, and the ugly."
The study began when a member of the research team accidentally took a photo of a buffalo having what looked like a non-consensual intercourse with another buffalo during field research, Lyfe noted, which led to the revelation that buffaloes could be mean to each other. Previously, the ability to harm each other was considered by the scholars as the defining trait of the human race.
Annie Mall GS, a member of the research team, noted that the team intends to expand their project and look into related topics, such as the political structure of a buffalo pack.
"We're especially interested in how negative campaigning and election engineering functions in how buffaloes elect their pack leader, how nepotism functions within a pack, and how buffaloes are often hostile towards those from another pack," she said. "We hope it shed lights to some of the most fundamental questions in the field of behavioral biology with regards to the origin of violence and corruption."
However, Grammar P. Olice, professor of linguistics, said he believes the team's findings are erroneous.
"To begin with, 'Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo' is not a grammatically correct sentence," Olice said. "You need another 'buffalo' at the end — without that last one the sentence is just incomplete. This study is a disgrace to the English language."
*This article is part of The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't believe everything you read on the internet!*