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The crowd was mostly silent throughout the men's basketball team's ghastly loss to the No. 1-ranked Harvard Crimson, which featured costly turnovers, missed shots and poor defense by the Tigers from tip-off to the final whistle.

The monastic quiet was broken only by the loud whoops, hollers and wild ululations of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Christie, an avid Crimson fan since childhood, is also an ex officio trustee of the University.

Christie, who throughout the game periodically stood up and attempted to lead the crowd in chants of “DE-FENSE! DE-FENSE” while the Tigers played offense, jumped up and exclaimed, “That's how you play basketball!" after an impressive Crimson alley-oop in the third quarter. At another point, Christie spilled a full cup of beer on Dr. Allison Blake, commissioner of the New Jersey Department of Children and Families, after he threw his hands in the air to celebrate Crimson center Kenyatta Smith drawing an offensive foul from the Tigers.

At the game's closing, Christie ran onto the court, hugged Harvard University President Drew Gilpin Faust, joined the team in celebration and hoisted Crimson co-captain Steve Moundou-Missi onto his shoulders.

"Man, what a game," Christie, soaked in champagne, said at a joint postgame press conference with Crimson head coach Tommy Amaker, apparently either unaware of or unremorseful about the fact that the Tigers draw significant regional support, that the University employs thousands of New Jerseyans or that his own son attends the University. "The last five seasons of Crimson b-ball have been a dream for me. Four Ivy League titles in a row now and going for a fifth. It sure wasn't like this when I was a kid. The Crimson went 3-11 in 1976, getting their backsides handed to them what seemed like weekly by [legendary Princeton coach] Pete Carril. What a nightmare."

"It was a tough loss for us to swallow," Princeton head coach Mitch Henderson ’98 said postgame. "But it wasn't made any easier by Christie's security detail detaining [junior forward] Hans [Brase] for the entire second half."

Christie's personal philosophy is at least consistent. From standing up for billionaires under attack by tax-and-spend liberals to standing up for billionaire Jerry Jones's underhyped and underloved Dallas Cowboys despite their rivalry with the Philadelphia Eagles to standing up for the basketball team of $32 billion-valued Harvard University, Christie has a special place in his heart for persecuted minorities.

"So what if I promised [Dallas Cowboys-Detroit Lions game referee] Pete [Morelli] a job as U.S. Secretary of Commerce in 2017 for blowing one measly call?" Christie asked reporters. "It's not like the Lions were Super Bowl material anyway."

This is The Daily Princetonian's annual joke issue. Don't forget you can laugh at the news.

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