Humor

In Defense Of: $5.95 Late Meal

Grace Lin

It's 3:28 p.m. You plunge headfirst into the absurdly long late meal line, inadvertently hip-checking John Nash and whacking that cute guy you've secretly been posting about on Tiger Admirers for the past month with your backpack. After gathering yourself and apologizing to the frightened freshmen who witnessed the entire scene, you begin to eagerly anticipate the moment when you can comfortably sprawl on your common room floor, late meal goodies spread all around you, about to indulge yourself while crying about being single.

HUMOR | 11/06/2013

Headliners & Headshakers

Abby Williams

1. Kathleen Deignan solicits nominations for Pyne Prize; I eat peanut butter directly out of jar while watching “Gossip Girl”2.

HUMOR | 11/06/2013

Odyssey II: The journey from Princeton

Zoe Perot

Having survived the Great Midterm War (GMW), having battled lab reports, problem sets, essays and exams, and coming away with only minor injuries (consisting mostly of wounded pride, cramped hands and paper cuts), I was ready to return home in glorious triumph to my family.

HUMOR | 11/05/2013

In Defense Of: Rocking Desk Chairs

Harrison Blackman

On the Princeton website, the housing department proudly announces that every room, no matter how big or how small, must be furnished with “one bed and mattress requiring extra-long sheets," for Princeton must accommodate the extra-long people, "one dresser, one desk and one chair for each person in the room.” You may note that Housing does not specify the type of chair you’re going to get.

HUMOR | 10/16/2013

Guide to Perfecting Princetoween

T.J. Smith TJ

After the horrifying tribulations of midterms week, Princetoween is a cathartic experience for the undergraduate community.

HUMOR | 10/16/2013

A very serious intramurals recap

Zoe Perot

This past Tuesday evening, Forbes and Wilson College faced off in the Men’s A intramural soccer semifinals.

HUMOR | 10/16/2013

Top Ten Princetoween Costumes

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. Miley Cyrus. 2. Miley Cyrus' teddy bears. 3. Zombie Hannah Montana. 4.

HUMOR | 10/16/2013

Top Ten Reasons for Grade Deflation

Daily Princetonian Staff

1. The freshmen shouldn't get anything we didn't have. 2. Without it, it will be really embarrassing when I don't get an A. 3.Because grad schools totally buy, "No.

HUMOR | 10/09/2013

Headliners and Headshakers

Abigail Williams

1. Eisgruber to review grade deflation policy; B+'s respond, "Hey man, I thought we were cool!" 2.

HUMOR | 10/09/2013

In defense of: Bedbugs

Zoe Perot

I’m sure almost all of us have gone to bed hearing the words, “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.” Until recently, I took the saying for granted.

HUMOR | 10/09/2013

Headliners and Headshakers

Abigail Williams

1. Government shuts down, Princeton students post indignant Facebook statuses and continue living their lives 2.

HUMOR | 10/03/2013

In defense of: The new Dinky Station

Harrison Blackman

As a result of the academic arms race between America's most prestigious colleges, Princeton has decided to go big or ... stay tied at number one, I guess.

HUMOR | 10/03/2013

Breakdown of residential college giveaways

Joan Thompson

The time we lovingly call 'Frosh Week' is infamous not only for its bacchanalian festivities, but also for its free goodies.

HUMOR | 09/25/2013

In defense of: Frist mailbox locks

Katie Bauman

You go to Princeton, bitch. That means things are different here.

HUMOR | 09/25/2013

Headliners and Headshakers

Abigail Williams

1) TRENDING NOW: Meningitis 2) NO LONGER TRENDING: Gastro 3) Add/Drop Period Closes, Lecture Becomes Very Lonely Place 4) Dinky Awning Collapses— University replies: “You’re next, WaWa.” 5) Return of Pumpkin Spice Latte; lactose-intolerants move underground 6) President Eisgruber competes with iOS 7 update for “Installation of the Week”

HUMOR | 09/25/2013

Shop 'til you Drop

Urvija Banerji

It’s no secret that it’s impossible to get motivated at the start of a semester. What with seeing all your friends again for the first time in months, avoiding sobriety during Frosh Week and pretending day-drinking is acceptable at Lawnparties, it’s almost as if the University planned to make you forget the reason you actually came to Princeton: to attend classes.

HUMOR | 09/18/2013

Top Ten Ways to Tell Your Parents Your First Semester Grades

1) “Hey, have you heared about the Harvard cheating scandal?”

HUMOR | 02/06/2013

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