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Top 10 ways to prepare for midterms

  1. Read every Wikipedia article ever written and gain Godlike omniscience. 
  2. Practice writing the Honor Code until it seeps into your muscle memory. Then you’ll know you can do at least one thing right.
  3. Draw a pentagram on your dorm room floor. Gently place a copy of “Rights, Rules, Responsibilities” in the center. Hope Satan will give you what your textbooks can’t. 
  4. Go over your lecture notes until you project back in time to the lecture itself. This time, you’re the professor. What is a silly little midterm when you’ve won a Nobel Prize?
  5. Pass/D/fail that one class. You know which one.
  6. Slowly insert your flash cards through your ear canal until they merge with your brain. 
  7. Go outside and scream a little bit. If you scream loud enough, the air molecules will break apart and you’ll cause the apocalypse. Sure, everyone will be dead, but no midterm, right? 
  8. Put on some music for “background noise.” Dance around your room for a while. Trip and break your ankle. Get free brain food from McCosh Health Center. 
  9. Take a study break! You need to refresh.
  10. Take another study break! And another one! Watch all of “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” on Netflix! Never study again!