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On Tap With ... Jack Jankowski and Max Weber

Jack Jankowski and Max Weber
Jack Jankowski and Max Weber


Junior lock Jack Jankowski and junior scrum-half Max Weber are a force of nature to be reckoned with, both on and off of the Rugby field. Roommates in their time off, these two gentlemen sat down with The Daily Princetonian to talk about Rugby, Justin Bieber and their ideal dates.

Daily Princetonian: Where are you from and what’s the best part about being from there?

Max Weber: Baltimore; I guess crabcakes and football.

Jack Jankowski: Not Baltimore, just “Bal-more.” I’m from the little town of Wilton, Connecticut, and I guess the best thing about Wilton is…nothing. It’s a small, lovely town, and the people are catty and know everything about you. No, our sports teams, our high school sports teams and our feeder program. Our feeder program was sick. Because I was there.

DP: What are you studying?


JJ: I’m studying at the Woodrow Wilson School, which is international and public affairs, with a focus on Middle Eastern studies.

MW: I’m studying economics, assuming I get my prospectus in, and I’m looking at a finance certificate as well as a German certificate.

JJ: Sellout.

MW: Absolutely.

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DP: What’s the funniest or most embarrassing thing that’s happened to one of you guys, on or off the field?

JJ: Most embarrassing thing that’s happened to Weber?

MW:No, no, you’re not doing this.

JJ: Actually I can’t think of any. But I rip my pants all the time. I ripped them at formals this past weekend. But maybe when Weber tries to kick the ball and it doesn’t go off the field, that’s pretty embarrassing. Because he sucks. Oh, also Weber’s a huge peacock, he struts around with his shirt off all the time. At every Rugby practice, Weber will be the only one with his shirt off. He loves showing off his body.

DP:How would you describe each other’s roles on the team, athletically and socially?

JJ: So Weber is the classic Napoleon man, has a little complex. As someone who is a little short of stature, he has to appear bulked up and hyped up and gets to get in everyone’s face, to be they guy that leads everyone. He is a leader on the team; he plays a very important position. But he’s the guy who will yell at you and get in your face if you mess up.

MW: Socially, I’m the social chair. Well, Jack makes running a little easier on everyone else. We don’t start until everyone else is done; we get a little bit of a longer break with Jack out there. But yeah, he’s a lock, he’s a big man, and when you need to hit somebody, Jack is your guy.

JJ: Socially, I add levity and wit.

MW: And he’s nice to all the freshmen.

DP: Tell me about each other’s hidden talents or obsessions.

JJ: Weber’s the best singer I’ve ever heard.

MW: It’s not funny! People aren’t going to know that isn’t true, they’re just going to think that I’m a great singer —

JJ: [interrupting] Hey, I’m just helping you out with the ladies. He used to play guitar back in the day. He stopped because he doesn’t know how to sing. But he can play the guitar. Other things…he’s obsessed with Justin Bieber, but who isn’t? I am too.

MW: He’s so hot right now.

JJ: He also loves Irish and Scottish folk songs.

MW: I don’t know if this counts, but Janko drinks three large coffees a day.

JJ: When I had money, I drank coffee. I’ve been living on $1.98 for the past two weeks so I haven’t for a while.

MW: He’s been thriving on $1.98.

JJ:I have been thriving. Max is obsessed with naps, also. I don’t know how he does it. At any given hour, he and our roommate Ian will be napping on our couches.

MW: You know what you can say about Jankowski? He hasn’t seen any movies or TV shows.

JJ: No, I’ve seen good movies, quality movies, but I’ve never seen Superbad or Stepbrothers.

MW: Or Spongebob! Didn’t watch SpongeBob.

JJ: Yeah, I didn’t watch dumb cartoons growing up! But I watched Jeopardy! and the news.

MW: You just called SpongeBob dumb. All her readers are going to hate you now.

JJ: I’ve seen all the Academy Award-winning movies!

DP: Describe the other’s ideal date.

JJ: Weber’s ideal date is a cute redheaded girl, camping and a couple beers.

MW: Based off experience, Janko’s ideal date would be doing anything, then spending all night talking.

JJ: No, being serious, Weber’s ideal date is a nice dinner with bottle of wine —

MW: With a bottle of wine, and then sleep afterwards, in the same spot. That’s probably it.

JJ: Mine is probably sushi, and then a movie.

MW: No one actually has to be present for it. Just me and a bottle of wine.

JJ: Our ideal dates are probably myself and Max, hanging out on the couch and listening to Scottish music while sharing casino a bottle of wine. That’s probably our ideal dates. You can quote me on that. And him.

DP: What are each other’s spirit animals?

MW: Janko’s is a polar bear.

JJ: Weber’s is probably an arctic fox. Maybe not arctic. Just a fox. I’m definitely a polar bear, the one bear that likes the taste of human flesh. That’s me. That is scientifically proven.

DP: What would be the titles of each other’s autobiographies?

JJ: I fell asleep while my pre-workout was kicking in. Or napping in there somewhere? Max Weber: a study of how sleep and pre-workout gets you through life. Mine would probably be Janko: Ripped Trousers Every Night.

MW: No, it would be My Tonsils are Too Damn Big.

JJ: That’s true.

DP: Okay, Max. Imagine Jack has been stranded on a deserted island for 10 years and you finally find a way to rescue him. When you get to the island, how does he look, and what has he been doing for the last 10 years?

JJ: My facial hair length hasn’t changed.

MW: No, it’s the same. I don’t think he would survive. He’s too pale and that doesn’t do well near the equator, where I assume this deserted island is.

JJ: I would for sure survive!

MW: He would burn up and die.

JJ: I would find shade under a palm tree and find a lovely mermaid.

MW: It doesn’t work that way. You would get skin cancer and die. Well, that took a heavy turn.

JJ: What do I look like? I’d probably be jacked and tan.

MW: You would probably be skinny. What are you, doing crossfit in your free time? Have you seen castaway? You’d probably look something like him.

DP: And Jack, the same for you, finding Max after 10 years.

MW: I’d be doing crossfit in my free time.

JJ: Yeah, he’d be yoked. He would be making his own pre-workout out of palm tree leaves and rocks. Doing crunches and pushups all the time, but he’d also be napping all the time so he would have missed four or five ships that went past his island because he would have been napping the entire time. And when I got there, only facial hair he has is just on his chin and it’s seven really long hairs.

MW: Seven more than you!

JJ: And he wanted to get a man bun but he never actually got to that length, disappointing him just so slightly because he wants it so bad.

DP: And for the typical on tap question, if the four fingers and thumb on one of your hands were drink dispensers, which drinks would they dispense?

[Both look intently at their hands for a few seconds before responding, wiggling their fingers in front of their faces.]

JJ: That would be sick. Water, Diet Coke, coffee, oh juice! No, I don’t need juice. Gin, to go with the soda, and then sangria, because I’m a fruity kind of guy.

MW: Okay. Water, coffee, you know, sangria isn’t bad if you’re on that deserted island.

JJ: That’s what I was picturing. Sucking on my pinky, which has sangria. You would have pre-workout mix.

MW: No, uh, I’ll go with Augustiner, whiskey and Gatorade. I think I have to go Gatorade. No. Subbing out Gatorade for milk.

JJ: I forgot about milk! It’s gotta be whole milk though. Skim milk is basically water.