Proudly representing Pennsylvania’s Delco (Delaware County) district, freshman midfielder Maddy Lynch entered Princeton this fall as ESPN’s No. 14 girls attacker in the nation. Seven months, one position change and five conference wins later, she is one game away from her first Ivy League tournament.
The ‘Prince’ had a chance to catch up with Lynch this week to investigate the team’s multimedia talents, hear a few tips on trash-talking and dig up some of the more understated jargon-gems from the lax lexicon.
Q: Describe the team’s collective social role among the greater varsity athletic community. What does the women’s lacrosse team bring to the table?
A: Incredible footwork equals great dancers.
Q: From an athletic and social standpoint, what is your role on the team?
A: Morale Coordinator for the Sideline Conglomerate, and Hydration Engineer.
Q: If you and your teammates could challenge one other varsity team to a competition in their sport, which would you pick?
A: Is kickball a varsity sport? If not, then field hockey.
Q: If women’s lax had a team motto, what it would be?
A: The sun never sets on a badass.
Q: Which freshman has had the biggest impact on the field so far, and how?
A: We have a very strong freshman class, and I can’t pick just one. Many have broken into the starting lineup and make large contributions on game days; we also have two who have made it onto the Rookie-of-the-Year watch list [midfielder Anya Gersoff and attacker Alex Bruno]. Collectively, I think we make important contributions on the practice field as well; if the team is only as strong as its weakest link, we’re doing just fine.
Q: Off the field?
A: Me. I was going to say myself for “on the field” but that, strictly speaking, would not be accurate.
Q: What is the most noteworthy pre-game ritual your team or an individual teammate practices?
A: Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” is choreographed and performed before each game by [senior midfielder] Charlotte Davis and [sophomore defender] Jessica Lauren Nelson.
Q. Describe briefly the team’s experience in filmmaking.
A: I’m not 100 percent sure how she does it, but [junior defender] Colleen Smith is our resident cinematographic genius. She plans and creates weekly pump-up films titled with clever alliterations that highlight the lax lifestyle and our love for Ellen DeGeneres stand-up.
Q: We’ve reached the obligatory “Pick one teammate to call out and describe her quirk” part of the interview. Do your worst.
A: [Sophomore midfielder] Erin Curley’s impression of Bane from Batman is spot-on.
Q: Lax is a sport heavily predicated on style, both in terms of dress and play. Who has the best swag on the team and why?
A: Anya Gersoff. Anyone who can rock “Where’s Waldo” pants has earned the title.
Q: More importantly — who has the worst?
A: Alex Bruno; peplum is not even in style anymore. And who wears Lulu?
Q: Identify the team’s most talented trash-talker.
A: [Junior defender] Erin “Ernie” Williams, aka Erin “Wild Bill” Williams.
Q: Care to share some examples of her handiwork?
A: “Your mother doesn’t love you.” “You’re so bad.”
Q: What are the top three most-played songs on the ladies’ lax locker room playlist right now?
A: One — “Big Booty Bitches” (Crizzly remix), two — “22” by Taylor Swift, three — “Cruise” by Florida Georgia Line.
Q: Give the public what they crave, what they need, what they won’t accept from anywhere but the authentic, unapologetically uncensored source of an Ivy League laxer:
Some terms of official lax lingo (modern-standard, Northeast-regional dialect), how they’re used and their English translations.
A: “Little hands” (noun): “Use little hands!” A tool employed when catching under pressure; to use little hands is to move your hands closer together on your stick and “choke up,” successfully avoiding a check. Not to be confused with T-Rex arms; little hands can use full mobility.
“T-Rex arms” (noun): “Hey can you grab that for me?” “Nah sorry I can’t reach it; I got them T-Rex arms today.” T-Rex arms is a phenomena in which arms are temporarily bent at acute angles. Suspiciously follows upper-body lifts, but correlation does not imply causation.
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