Sexpert: April 5, 2012

Dear Sexpert,

I have a bit of an embarrassing question for you. Recently I’ve gotten into the habit of masturbating every day, and I don’t know how I feel about it. Even if I have sex with my committed partner, I find that doesn’t stop me from wanting to orgasm the next day. Is this a problem? Should I feel bad about this?

— How Much Is Too Much?

Dear How Much,

The first part of your question, regarding the health status of masturbation, is more straightforward than the second part about whether it is bad. In general, masturbation is a natural sex act performed by about 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women, both in sexual relationships and not, and is not by itself harmful to your health. The exception here is when it becomes a compulsive habit and a person begins to obsess over masturbation, just like someone can obsess over food, alcohol, exercise or anything that gives a person pleasure.

If this begins to happen, a person should try to moderate oneself so one does not become obsessed with the act. If this proves difficult, and the habit, whether it be masturbation, alcohol, sex or food, interferes with a person’s daily life, one might want to seek out the help of Counseling and Psychological Services at UHS, which has a number of professionals trained in the area of addiction.

It is important to distinguish between masturbation and autoeroticism. While these terms are often used as synonyms, there are important differences between them that are critical to understanding healthy sexual practices. Masturbation is the act of sexually stimulating the genitals, usually with one’s hand. Though it is most commonly thought of as a solitary pursuit, the term also covers what is known as “mutual masturbation,” in which two (or more) people stimulate each other’s genitals sexually. This is generally thought of as a non-penetrative form of sex and can thus be used as foreplay to intercourse or on its own.

Autoeroticism, on the other hand, deals only with sexual stimulation that does not come from another person. While this is mostly thought of as masturbation — intentional stimulation of the genitals — autoeroticism includes any time the body is sexually aroused without external stimuli, whether or not a person is consciously doing anything about it. For example, nocturnal emission, when a male ejaculates or a woman’s vagina is lubricated during sleep, is considered a form of autoeroticism.

In short, not all masturbation is autoerotic (e.g. mutual masturbation), and not all autoeroticism is masturbatory (e.g. nocturnal emission).

As for the question about whether or not masturbation is “good,” while many religious groups and other groups concerned with morals have a strong opinion about masturbation, it is important not to confuse that with determinations on all forms of autoeroticism, which is a natural bodily process. It is therefore up to each individual whether one wants to engage in a given sex act, but it is not always a conscious choice whether one is aroused, perhaps to orgasm, by internal stimuli.

— The Sexpert

The Sexpert is written by a team of peer sexual health educators and fact-checked by University health professionals. You can submit questions to sexpert@dailyprincetonian.com. Don’t be shy!