Rather than putting on makeup or pre-gaming, about 30 freshman women prepared for their first night at the eating clubs last Thursday evening by asking for some friendly advice. “Girls’ Night Out,” a question-and-answer session held by the campus awareness group SpeakOut in the Mathey common room, gave upperclass women the opportunity to share the dos and don’ts of the Princeton social scene with the University community’s newest female members.
SpeakOut is a student group focused on educating the campus about sexual and relationship violence. The forum mainly addressed questions about Princeton, from Lawnparties — which panelist Chloe Angyal ’09 referred to as “pastel-colored Halloween” — to awkward situations at the dining hall table.
Throughout the hour-and-a-half meeting, one message to the freshmen was clear regardless of the topic being discussed: Do what you want to do, and don’t care what other people will think.
“You always think everyone’s judging you,” Stephanie Burset ’09 explained. “People don’t judge you nearly as much as you think they do. You can take your own classes, go out, not go out. No one cares.”
The panelists also tried to ease fears about the upcoming sorority rush as well as eating club bicker further down the road.
“You guys will figure out which scene you like,” Burset said. “I’m not in a sorority. It’s not going to impede your social scene.”
The bicker process was described as a fun way to meet new people and nothing to fear, with panelists explaining that typical bicker events can include staging a dramatic breakup or dancing on a table in Frist.
Freshmen asked about weekend activities away from the Street, particularly alcohol-free events. Catherine Mevs ’09, who is also an associate news editor for The Daily Princetonian, answered that opportunities to go into New York for shows are a big advantage of being in a residential college. The panelists also recommended events like Fristfest weekend and free movie nights.
Burset, who is the president of Tower Club, assured attendees that drinking alcohol is not a prerequisite for partying at the eating clubs. She added that the clubs host dry nights with themes like salsa or community service.
Though the panelists insisted that no one notices or cares if people aren’t drinking while at an eating club, Angyal suggested that particularly self-conscious freshmen could “hold a beer [and not drink it] if you’re too nervous you’ll stand out.”
The upperclassmen warned audience members that regardless of whether they decide to drink alcohol, they must not let their guard down while out at night.
“Don’t feel like that just because some guy initiated a conversation or asked you to dance that you owe him anything,” Courtney Quiros ’10 said.
Angyal added that freshmen should not allow themselves to be peer pressured at the clubs.
“We may yell at you to get a room, but you don’t have to,” Angyal said.
Mevs emphasized that freshmen should make decisions for themselves in the classroom as well.
“College is a time for exploring, but you already have an idea of what you like. So, if you don’t like something, drop it,” she said.
“Something that I regret from freshman year is that I felt like I had to pick classes that were humongous,” Quiros said. “Don’t feel like you’re pressured into taking certain classes because everyone else is.”
Burset encouraged the freshmen to take advantage of all the academic resources at the University, like the Writing Center and Frist study halls.
“Don’t be afraid to be a little nerdy,” she advised. “There’s so much stuff here to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask.”
“I feel so much wiser than I did three years ago,” Angyal explained. “You make mistakes and you learn from them. So, go forth and screw up!”
Though that advice may seem a little out of the ordinary, audience members seemed to welcome the recommendations.
“It seemed like they were being really honest,” Aprilee Velez ’12 said.
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