Learning to grind with American girls

Correction appended

When Plamen Ivanov '08 first came to the United States from Pleven, Bulgaria, four years ago, he was surprised by the pink polos that Princetonians wore and by how the students interacted. "I guess I had a different idea of what cool was," he said. But the most shocking thing to him was the way the Americans danced. "Grinding was by far the hardest thing for me to get used to," Ivanov said. "I still don't understand it. So kissing your lady friends on the cheek when hugging them is kind of sketchy and sleazy, but grinding with them on the Street is totally fine?"

There are 470 undergraduates that the Office of Admission categorizes as "international students." They hail from 91 different countries and make up about 10 percent of a given class. These students have to face the same stresses and difficulties as their American counterparts, but they also have to deal with immigration forms, long distances separating them from friends and family, and strange American traditions - like grinding.

Though the Office of the Dean of International Students typically only deals with immigration issues, the pre-orientation program it sponsors every fall tackles the potential difficulties of interpreting American social customs. A counselor addresses the students, explaining among other things that Americans tend to be friendly and animated even if they have no interest in actually fostering a friendship or a romance. They require more personal space during friendly interactions than is typical in many other countries and prefer to shake hands rather than kiss on the cheek. Some social norms that mean certain things in Europe or Africa may mean something totally different in America.

This year will be the first time that international students will be allowed to both attend the international pre-orientation and participate in a Community or Outdoor Action trip. Dean of International Students Rachel Baldwin said she hopes that this will help them branch out and integrate themselves into the Princeton community. "[International] students are drawn toward enclaves of other international students, which is natural," she said. Pre-orientation gives them a taste of the community and general cultural differences, but facing challenges with American freshmen right off the bat will help to blur the lines that divide international students from the rest of their class.

"I guess I did seek out groups of international students," said Bronson Fung '08, a native of Hong Kong. "We all did. It made it easier for us, especially in the beginning because we can relate to each other."

In his first three years, Ivanov found himself hanging out mostly with Bulgarians or other kids from the pre-university school he attended, United World College (UWC) of the Adriatic. The school has 11 other campuses around the globe. Many international students at Princeton - including Ivanov and Fung - attended UWC, in large part thanks to the Shelby Davis Scholarship, which pays 100 percent of the demonstrated financial need of UWC graduates attending Princeton.

Though Ivanov lives with two other UWC-ers, most of the other Bulgarian students he knows have graduated, and he has branched out this year. "I think I have integrated very well in the past few years," he said. "Break-dancing with Sympoh has helped a lot. I wanted to make more American friends, but I did not really understand their party logic."

Despite funds like the Davis Scholarship, at least a quarter of international students remain on campus during a given break. "There are some students who are very privileged, and some students who really are not, and traveling home can just be horribly expensive," Baldwin explained. In some cases the time it takes to travel home and back to Princeton during a weeklong break would leave less than a day to spend at home. It takes Kieran Ledwidge '08 20 hours to get home to Sydney, Australia, and once there the time difference is 15 hours ahead. That's a net loss of a day and a half.

Ivanov said he doesn't mind the distance, though he would like to return to Bulgaria some day. "What challenges do I face? I guess my accent is the main thing. People say it's cool, but probably they think I'm stupid or something, or a criminal," he noted. But being exotic can also be an asset. "Everyone tells me American girls love accents," Ledwidge joked.

Not all international students find it hard to blend in. Take Delwin Olivan '08 for example, who is from Vancouver, B.C., and lives less than an hour from the United States border. "Being from Canada is like getting none of the perks of being an international student but with all of the annoyances," he said. "We still get that little extra check when coming in here with our I-20s and have to deal with all the bureaucracy, but we don't take advantage of the resources offered to international students on campus because we don't really need them." Baldwin knows that it is hard for American students to understand Canadians as international students. "In terms of immigration, however, they have to deal with all the same issues," she said.

And immigration issues loom large. All seniors struggle with the question of what they will be doing after graduation, but international seniors need to decide quickly enough to begin the bureaucracy of making it happen. "There is so much visa drama right now in the room," said Joe Rokicki '08, an American who lives with three international students in a Spelman suite. "It's all anyone can talk about. Visa this, visa that."

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Every international undergraduate gets something called an OPT (Optional Practical Training). The OPT extends their time allowed in the United States by exactly 12 months, time they can use to work. The 12 months can be used at any time during their four years here. Many students use a good part of their OPT for summer internships between semesters. Those who wish to stay in the United States after graduation save as many months of their OPT as possible to linger in the states for a year after graduation. "I want to use the rest of my OPT to get a job in New York. But until I get a work visa, I won't be able to leave the country with any assurance that they'll let me back in to work - despite having time left on my OPT," Ledwidge explained.

The prospect of all this can be very daunting. "Will you marry me?" Ledwidge joked. "It would make my life so much easier, I can't even tell you."

CORRECTION:

The orginal version of this article stated that the Shelby Davis Scholarship allows any UWC graduate to attend to Princeton on a full ride, regardless of need. In fact, the scholarship award is based on financial need, though it is still available to any UWC alumnus at Princeton. The Daily Princetonian regrets this error.