'Blades' just short of 'Glory'

On paper, "Blades of Glory" seems like a recipe for 90 minutes of unadulterated hilarity. Unfortunately, this new figure skating comedy, starring Will Ferrell and John Heder, is only occasionally funny.

Heder delivered a show-stopping performance in his debut feature, "Napoleon Dynamite," while Ferrell has cranked out several iconic performances, ranging from a frat boy trapped in a middle-aged man's body in "Old School" to the clueless chauvinist Ron Burgundy in "Anchorman." But despite the hype of these big-name funny guys, "Blades of Glory" never rises above its rather gimmicky premise.

As the film opens, a young, blond orphan skates quietly on a fishing pond with a group of nuns. Suddenly, the child pulls off his overcoat to reveal a garish blue and gold leotard. After witnessing the spectacle, a greedy billionaire adopts the prodigy and raises him to become the envy of the figure skating world, John McElroy (Heder). His arch nemesis, Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell), is a self-confessed "sex addict" whose routine features more pelvic thrusts than triple axels.

Both McElroy's and Michaels' careers come to a halt when they are banned from the sport for inadvertently causing a mascot to catch fire. Three years pass, during which McElroy is "unadopted" by his wealthy benefactor, and Chazz is reduced to working in a children's ice show. Finally, a deranged fan discovers that McElroy and Michaels can still perform if they enter the doubles competition — together. After amusing tribulations and adventures, the duo eventually faces off against an incestuous pair of siblings.

The roles of Michaels and McElroy are tailor-made for Ferrell and Heder. Ferrell, who has played countless variations of clueless oafs, effortlessly captures this character's strange mix of overwhelming confidence and stupidity. Nowhere is this better demonstrated than when he shows McElroy his tattoos, which represent his various sexual conquests of female skaters. When he arrives at the tattoo representing Ukrainian skater Oksana Baiul, he asks McElroy, "What's colder than dry ice?" When McElroy confesses his ignorance, Ferrell fearfully whispers, "Oksana!"

Only one of Ferrell's costar's antics could possibly surpass the veteran oaf's performance. Heder demonstrates a penchant for the absurd as the effeminate McElroy. The actor adds a pathetic edge to his character, which makes grotesque scenes, such as when he is forced to swallow a dirty roll of toilet paper, more humorous than revolting. Heder's earnest charisma manages to make McElroy, the child of privilege who "burst out of the womb and onto the ice," as sympathetic a character as his nerdy Napoleon Dynamite.

Though Ferrell and Heder deliver enthusiastic performances, one gets an overwhelming sense of deja vu while watching "Blades of Glory." When Ferrell remarks, "You're welcome Stockholm," after an explosive skate, the line is delivered in eerily similar fashion to his Ron Burgundy catchphrase, "Stay classy, San Diego." Similarly, Heder talks, acts and, in one scene, actually dances like Napoleon Dynamite with blond hair. This sense of repetition makes the characters feel stale and even worse, derivative.

The one aspect of the comedy that never falls flat, however, is the varied direction by Will Specks and Josh Gordon, which takes the film to its comedic zenith. In one scene, the coach of the male duo presents a bootleg tape from behind "the bamboo curtain" — North Korea — that shows a figure skating duo botching the fabled move, "The Iron Lotus." Here, Specks and Gordon emulate the style of a shaky home video to depict a particularly gory act where a skater completely decapitates his partner with his skates. Specks and Gordon's inventive direction, as showcased in the sequence, creates a delightful blend of reality and absurdity that briefly elevate the picture above its gimmicky roots.

Even with the efforts of its talented directors, "Blades of Glory" never achieves the levels of comedic greatness that the pairing of Jon Heder and Will Ferrell might suggest. Instead, the production is tainted with the overwhelming sensation of "been there, done that." See "Blades of Glory" only if you're looking for some comedy comfort food. Otherwise, save your cash until Ferrell and Heder use their unique comic talents to create a film truly deserving of a gold medal.