Word to the wise: It's not called Les Mis for nothing

I remember my first audition. I was six years old — usually soft-spoken. I sat cross-legged in a circle with 30 others, clutching a book and looking quite pale. Tense, my shoulder bones practically plugged my ears.

Shrinking into the pages, I gulped in air and spat out the title, "TheLittleBadFrogandhisMother."

Smiles from the circle relaxed my shoulders. I read, alternating between the bubbly, cracked voice of Little Frog and the soggy, baritone voice of Mother Frog.

Despite the nervousness, I think it was my best audition to date. 15 years and over 50 auditions later, I still gag and choke at tryouts, and, as I get to know the Princeton arts community better, this mini-stagefright seems to get worse.

Curious to know if others have experienced this problem, I called Joe Cermatori '05, director of last year's "Titus Andronicus" and Music Director of the Tigertones.

"When you know the people you audition for, the pressure is high," Joe explained. "If they already have an impression of you as a halfway decent performer, you don't want them thinking that impression was totally fallacious."

He continued, "I find that when you don't know the people holding auditions, there isn't as much pressure. You make an impression or you don't."

You approach your first audition with a clean slate and then struggle to maintain (or to improve, or to entirely demolish) that first impression.

So the first audition is a paradox. Everything is riding on it: a role in a play, a spot in a dance troupe, your entire life! But nothing is riding on it: you could just as easily audition for something else.

In September, we celebrate this terrifying paradox in full glory at Princeton. Already, you might have noticed freshmen scurrying from lamppost to lamppost, obsessing over the signs marked AUDITIONS!!! As if being a freshman was not already wrought with peril, we engineer this traumatic game of Choose Your Own Adventure.

Brave souls sign-up for their first campus audition and find they have to compete with upperclassmen.

David Bengali '04, who directed "Spettacolo!" at Princeton, explained: "You hear an upperclassman auditioner on the other side of the door, reminiscing with the director."

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"But in reality," he added, "you get inside the room and you are judged like everyone else."

Except, freshmen, you have a secret weapon. No one has discovered the talent you hide (in your pinky finger, perhaps?) Here, you are the magician — you conjure the first impression your peers will have of you.

But Princeton freshmen are notoriously good at making great first impressions, so an outstanding impression is hard work. Jessica Bonney '05, who co-directed Princeton's "Cabaret," recalled: "People did interesting things to get us to remember them: lap dances ... dressing up in ball gowns."

Amanda Brandes '02, General Manager of the New Group, an off-Broadway company, offered advice.

"If you are male, do not sing 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables' at a musical audition," she wrote in an email. "Likewise, if you're female, 'On My Own' is a bad idea."

Bonney honed in on the anti-"Les Mis" theme: "We once had three renditions of 'Stars' almost back to back — it's one of the most popular choices for guys."

So, freshmen: be creative, take risks and, above all, do not be afraid to audition, whether for theatre, dance, a cappella, creative writing, orchestra or sports.

Take it from me. On the first day of my freshman year, I signed-up to audition for "Falsettos," only to chicken-out and return the next day with a whiteout pen.

Remember, that first audition is a bit of magic. I mean, when I was six, I turned myself into a frog.