A friendly hello

Hi. You may be surprised that I'm actually saying that word because, for some reason, it seems that no one likes to use it here at Princeton. Walking across campus, I've noticed that I receive a wide array of responses from people I pass.

When I go by my friends, I obviously get a nice "hello" and perhaps we even stop for a short conversation. But I'm not talking about closer friends. I'm talking about those people that you sort of know — the ones you met in precept, or at the 'Street,' or who are friends of friends or whom you just recognize but don't know their names. It can be quite awkward when you see these people. And no one really knows just how to act.

There's the oft-used but relatively unsatisfactory 'look-down,' where you just stare at the ground and ignore the existence of the person coming towards you. You also have the choice of the slight nod of acknowledgement or the raising of the eyebrows. At least with these options, you recognize that the person exists and that you do — or at least should — know them.

A bit more personal, a perfunctory "Hey" is also a common response. After this comes the full-blown, complete greeting of the "Hi, how are you?" Both of these can be pretty intimidating to use. I think everyone knows what I'm talking about: How will the other person respond? Many times you get a quick "What's up?" an equally mechanical "Hey" or sometimes you can be ignored altogether.

I don't quite comprehend this phenomenon. If we went to school in New York City, I could understand. But it seems to me that everyone wears their 'city-face,' looking blankly forward or down, though we go to school on a suburban campus. I wonder why we aren't friendlier to each other, especially to people whom we recognize that we know, by face if not by name.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we should stop whenever we see anyone we recognize and have a five minute conversation. Nor am I saying that I don't have some of these same reactions. I know that there have been people whom I should've greeted but instead just passed and pretended not to notice. But I am saying that I don't think that I, nor anyone, should do that. Obviously, sometimes we're in a hurry and are busy and need to be someplace, but I know that this isn't the case all the time. And sometimes we don't know the person's name and feel uncomfortable greeting someone whom we can't call by name.

I propose that for those times when we aren't rushing around, we make an effort to be friendlier. And the next time you see the person whose name you don't know in a situation that fosters some sort of conversation (this does include the 'Street'), you can ask his or her name. And if, for whatever reason, you don't remember the name, even after talking to him or her at the 'Street' (imagine that!), I think that you could ask again. Certainly this is less of an affront, than just flatly ignoring or pretending you've never met the person.

So, if you see me and know that I should be saying "hi" to you and I don't, well, call me on it. I would appreciate it. And if I say "hi" to you and you ignore me, I won't hold it against you. I'll just keep doing it until you acknowledge me. I mean, we go to Princeton; we all love to be acknowleged. John Lurz is an English major from Lutherville, MD. He can be reached at johnlurz@princeton.edu.