Folklore has it that God went to Princeton. As Valentine's Day approaches, however, perhaps Orange Key tour guides should consider adding Cupid and the Greek goddess Aphrodite to their lists of famed and immortal alumni.
After all, squeezed between Firestone Library and McCosh Courtyard on campus is one of Mercer County's most popular places to wed — the University Chapel.
According to the Rev. Sue Anne Steffey Morrow, associate dean of religious life and of the chapel, Princeton's chapel hosts about 80 to 100 weddings per year. Last year, 82 couples chose it as the setting for their weddings despite ongoing restoration activity.
And as expected, Princetonians make up the majority of the couples. Each year, about 90 percent of the weddings are for Princeton alumni, according to chapel administrator Rick Parks. Seventy-eight percent are couples in which both individuals were students at the University.
Couples choose to wed at the University Chapel for different reasons. For Annemarie Strousup '98 and Kristofer Smith '98 — who plan to marry at the chapel this summer — location was important.
"We chose Princeton because it is a beautiful location for a wedding," Strousup said in an e-mail.
Since Strousup and her fiance wanted an interfaith ceremony, the chapel fits their requirement of a nondenominational location. "We weren't looking for a 'Princeton' wedding, but a beautiful place that could accommodate our religious backgrounds," Strousup explained.
For many Princeton couples, having their ceremonies in the chapel brings them back to the courtships of their undergraduate years.
"We heard that you have to start booking things very far in advance since Princeton is a very popular wedding town," said an alumnus from the Class of 1994 who wished to remain anonymous. She and her fiance, a 1995 graduate, plan to wed in the chapel in the fall of 2002.
"There's no [other] place [in which] we would consider getting married. We both loved our time at Princeton and just love going back," she said.
But the chapel is open not only to Princetonians. Current staff and faculty — as well as people who attend services regularly — are eligible to wed in the chapel.
To apply for a wedding, a couple must write a letter to Morrow explaining why they want to be wed in the chapel, what their religious backgrounds are and how they believe this will play a part in their future life together. A deposit of $200 is then required for the use of the chapel.
Considering all the planning that goes into a wedding, these requirements are easy to fulfill, according to Roberta Taylor, stewardship administrator in the Office of the Recording Secretary. "Everything has gone so wonderfully smooth so far," Taylor wrote in an e-mail about her and her fiance's preparations to wed in the chapel this spring. "[Morrow] emphasized to us that it's our day and we should make it exactly what we want it to be. We feel incredibly comfortable with the way things are proceeding.
"[Writing the letter to request the use of the chapel] was really more of a formality than anything else," Taylor explained.
But not all ceremonies at the chapel have proceeded without problems. On April 26, 1997, amid controversy, Mike Beer GS '95 and Jason Rudy '97 wed in the chapel. The ceremony was the first same-sex union held in Princeton's chapel.
"It was a very traditional marriage," said Morrow, who conducted the ceremony. "This marriage was very much, except in one respect, like any other wedding."
Rudy and Beer's union, however, sparked debate over Princeton's policy on marriages, which then did not deal with same-sex unions.
"All same-sex commitments previously had been done quietly, modestly," Morrow explained. "This was the first one we knew that was going to be publicized."
Many alumni were hardly pleased with the union; several scathing letters of protest were printed in the Princeton Alumni Weekly. "Like anything that is a first or new, it created a disturbance. There were many alum s who were troubled," Morrow said.
Some of the letters printed condemned the University and Morrow for permitting a homosexual union to be held in the chapel. Others objected to the couple signing the chapel's wedding registry. Many more protested that both Rudy and Beer were atheists.
Rudy said, however, that he and his partner were largely shielded from these attacks. "If there were issues, [Dean Morrow] took care of that. We never had to deal with any of the administrative stuff," he noted.
And in addition to critical letters, the University received support for its decision to allow Rudy and Beer to marry. "We were prepared for [the protests]," Morrow said. "What we weren't prepared for was the wave of support we would receive.
"The letters of support way outweighed the letters of discomfort," she said, noting that strangers also approached her on the street to express their support — while the couple received wedding gifts from complete strangers.
The University's gift was to mediate between the supporters and critics of same-sex ceremonies at the chapel. In June 1997, the University altered the technical language of the same-sex ceremony. In addition, the chapel decided to officially host both heterosexual marriages as well as homosexual "holy unions."
"The language of marriage is reserved for heterosexual marriage," Morrow explained. While same-sex couples can use marriage in their own words, the University recognizes the ceremony as a "holy union." A second "holy union" registry for same-sex couples was also created, distinct from the original wedding registry.
Since 1997, two homosexual couples have signed the new registry. The first to sign were Beer and Rudy; the second couple was a lesbian couple wed in the chapel two summers ago, Morrow said.
While the number of signatures in the "holy union" registry may grow, Morrow said she believes steps to equate same-sex unions with traditional ones are not in the University's near future.
But as his and his partner's union exemplifies, times can change and one can still hope for a change, Rudy noted.
"[Mike and I] were upset that the trustees took action after our wedding to prohibit gay unions. We thought it was wrong," he said. "We hope that changes in the future."
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