Student attacked on Jadwin C-floor by unknown masked individual

An unidentified University student was attacked with some sort of sword by a masked assailant on the C-floor of Jadwin Gym Saturday morning.

According to Public Safety Crime Prevention Specialist Barry Weiser, the incident was preceded by the attacker and the victim — both clad in all-white padded pants and shirt outfit — eyeing each other from across the room. Then, suddenly, the assailant allegedly lunged, nicking the victim with the pointy end of his sword.

After the incident, the perpetrator fled the scene sideways with one hand behind him, all the while never taking his eyes off of the carnage that he created. One eyewitness claimed that the attacker did not work alone. "I think I heard someone scream 'Point!' So I did. But he still got away."

Another bystander, Dick Bullock, described the altercation, "I am not sure what weapon was used — foil, sabre or epee. I mean, who really knows what the difference is anyway? If people really cared, they would send me angry e-mails explaining the difference. I definitely do not get enough raging, irrational messages."

Last night, Weiser recieved an anonymous tip that the assailant was named something like Libby.

"The caller suggested Kibby or Jibby. I told her that those were not real names, but she insisted they were," Weiser said.

Princeton University Public Safety plans to start their search for the attacker with the members of the Student Beekeepers Association. However, Weiser warns that it may be hard to narrow the list of suspects.

"They all look the same in those damn masks."