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'Prince' Year-End Wrap-Up


87,641: Number of $.39 McDonald's hamburgers you can buy in place of one year at Princeton.


1,489,897: Number of grams of fat in 87,641 McDonald's hamburgers. You made the right choice.


More Students:

The University Board of Trustees approved the Wythes committee proposal to increase the student body by 500, starting in 2003 or 2004. Invest in Abercrombie & Fitch and North Face stocks now!

Smart Mice:

Molecular biology professor Joe Tsien announced last fall that he had genetically engineered supposedly "smarter" mice. With a little more research, the mice soon may be able to apply to Penn.

Vanilla Ice:


Hundreds of students "bumrushed the speaker that boomed" when the one-hit wonder "rocked the mic like a vandal" at Campus Club in March. Word has it, the club had to pay for him "by the gram."

NES major:

The Near Eastern Studies department received a hefty $199,000 grant from the U.S. government earlier this year. That works out to about . . . $199,000 for each student in the department.



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Orange cones, heavy machinery and Port-a-Johns were about as ubiquitous on campus as spires and gargoyles this year. There's nothing like the rattle of a jackhammer to jumpstart your day.

Campus Club:

The club saw a sudden dive in membership this year, attracting only 34 total sign-ins. As a result of the precipitous decline, officers have moved meetings from the dining room to the bathroom.

Frosh males:

This year marked the first time the University offered admission to an equal percentage of men and women. That equals more play for sophomore and upperclass males, but still none for frosh.


A new University policy will require teaching assistants to prove their English proficiency by taking an exam. In response, one teaching assistant fumed, "Aoladdjnkzy avnbcieekjnb rmzaqwejk!"