Welcome (back) to your den, Tigers!
As everyone slips into the Orange Bubble andwaymore orange clothes than ever deemed possible, here are seven things that you’re likely to hear around campus (the number seven may or may not be an allusion to a certain wizard boy whose name is thrown around here and there in our magical home). But beware — while what you see at Princeton may be what you get, what you heardefinitelyisn’t.
What they say:“Can you prox me in?”
What they mean:I’m locked out. Can you use your identification card to let me into the building?
What they really mean:That door has been walking into my face since I got back from the Street. The blinking light on the side does vaguely remind me of a little card I may or may not have dropped in the sewer though…
What they say:“Wanna do a Wa run?”
What they mean:Let’s go to Wa-Wa, the 24-hour convenience store near Forbes!
What they really mean:It’s1 a.m.I have the drunchies* and need food desperately enough to walk all the way to a different ZIP code.
*drunchies = being drunk and having a serious need to munch (A.K.A. the drunk munchies).
What they say:“Let’s take the Dinky there!”
What they mean:Let’s take the train from Princeton Junction to Princeton.
What they really mean:We’d rather spend 10 minutes waiting for the Dinky than spend $14 on a cab to get to campus!
What they say:“Please stay in your room between10 and midnighttonight.”
What they mean:You’re going to be picked up. Soon.
What they really mean:Gear up for a night of drinking, going to the Street and then having to clean all of that confetti and shaving cream we’re going to cover you, your room and your hallway with!
What they say:“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to McCosh?”
What they mean:Do you need to be taken to the University’s health center?
What they really mean:Bro, you’re drunk. You need help — more help than usual, anyway. Your answer has no importance whatsoever. But who says no to free bagels for breakfast?
What they say:“I’m just going to PDF this.”
What they mean:I’m not going to take a letter grade for the class because I’m going to explore everything in my Princetonian pursuit of knowledge.
What they really mean:Please Don’t Fail me for not going to lecture and precept and for not handing in my problem sets.
What they say:“Please be seated for 15 minutes after your receive the meningitis vaccine.”
What they mean:We want to make sure that you can stand up straight before you walk out of here so we don’t have to rush you over to our other wing.
What they really mean:We’re going to delude you into thinking that everything is perfect. Until the meng-arm and men-drome kick in, of course.