University installs AI as new Dean of the College
The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
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The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
“Let’s face it, most research is useless.”
When athletes spread out for the summer, they go in a variety of directions. Some play their sport in a new setting, while others pursue other opportunities. The Daily Princetonian spoke to two athletes about their summer experiences.
As temperatures cool after last week’s heat wave, the University continues to work to provide box fans to students in dormitories without air conditioning — an effort set back by an initially disorganized distribution system. About 150 extra fans have arrived on campus after the first day of distribution.
University President Christopher Eisgruber ’83 responded to criticism of the inclusion of a controversial book on a course syllabus on Wednesday after Rep. Josh Gottheimer (D-N.J.) sent a public letter urging the book be removed. Eisgruber defended academic freedom and made the case that it could coexist with a welcoming environment for students. In a separate statement to faculty, he also urged faculty to reach out to the administration when under attack from “social media storms.”
The photo team captured scenes across campus during the first week of school as some return to the familiar, while others enter a new stage in life.
When you ask a student-athlete why they chose Princeton, many give you the same answer: excellence in academics and athletics. The Princeton athletics mission of “Education through Athletics,” gives student-athletes a foundation to secure a job upon graduation and go down a career path they are passionate about. The Daily Princetonian sat down with recent athletics alumni to discuss the transition from Princeton athletics to professional life.
Returning to campus in the fall, it’s hard to ignore the ways campus has changed as Princeton reshapes itself. Most striking is the transformation that has occurred just outside the windows of Yeh College and New College West. Where there were once only low grasses and daffodils, now sprout black-eyed Susan, New England aster and goldenrod. Skies are now filled with swarms of bumblebees and warblers. The southern edge of campus has been transformed into a mini-meadow, able to house many new insects frolicking alongside the undergrads beginning the fall semester.
The FitzRandolph gates have just welcomed a new batch of first-years, and that knowledge, juxtaposed with the difficult-to-swallow fact that I’ve spent roughly 14 percent of my life as a Princeton student, has prompted me to reflect on my time here. In my three years as a Princetonian, I’ve learned many valuable lessons which I undoubtedly would’ve benefitted from hearing prior to embarking on my journey in Jersey. In the sections that follow, I proffer the most relevant ones in what I hope is the least pithy manner possible. While this article is geared toward the fresher faces on campus, it also contains practical reminders for those who have been here longer — myself included.
Head coach of wrestling Chris Ayres is heading to Stanford
The following content is purely satirical and entirely fictional.
Princeton’s School of Public and International Affairs (SPIA) leased an office space in Washington D.C. last spring, marking “the first time in the University’s history that its policy and international affairs school has had a dedicated, physical presence in the nation’s capital” according to the department website. The new space is located in the Dupont Circle neighborhood, less than two miles from Embassy Row.
The Princeton community is full of idealists, activists, and outspoken thinkers. Yet it often seems like this idealism and enthusiasm for service is not carried forward as Princeton graduates move beyond the Orange Bubble. Recent studies of alumni outcomes have demonstrated an apparent lack of commitment to the values Princeton claims to promote. Only 20 percent of employed graduates of the Classes of 2016–2020 work in social impact fields. A recent analysis of prominent campus activists found that some have graduated into fields that work expressly against the values they fought to promote at Princeton. We asked our columnists, young and idealistic, still within the comforts of campus, how they hope to contribute to the world post-graduation, and what they think a Princeton education should prepare them to do.
After 17 seasons leading the Princeton wrestling program, Chris Ayres is going west to take over as the head wrestling coach at Stanford University. Ayres is recognized by many in the wrestling world for putting Princeton Wrestling on the map and made Jadwin Gymnasium a hub for some of the nation’s top wrestlers.
60 percent of graduating seniors in 2023 characterized their career plans as “in the nation’s service,” but this varied widely by job field. For example, 100 percent of respondents going into nonprofit or public service work considered themselves as “in the nation’s service,” whereas this applied to just a third among soon-to-be consultants.
Fall sports were in full swing this past weekend with women’s soccer, volleyball, field hockey, rugby, and volleyball all back in action. The men’s water polo team also hosted the Princeton invitational this past weekend. More on that here.
Princeton Campus Dining has extended late meal hours to include standard lunch times, raised the late meal allowance, and begun piloting a new mobile ordering system.
What to expect as the search for the next dean of the college begins
After it was announced Sept. 7 that Dean of the College Jill Dolan will step down at the end of the 2023–24 school year, many are left wondering what the selection process for the position looks like.